


The Pet in Sheep's Clothing

by alwaysinthesnow



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Lust, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28995414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysinthesnow/pseuds/alwaysinthesnow
Summary: Adria was at the Conclave for one reason and one reason only. To track her marks and to kill them if they got in the way.But the Conclave had ended with the breach and the death of all her partners. Adria was stuck with a green glowing mark on her hand - and with everyone thinking she was Isabella Blackstone, the daughter of an Orlesian merchant.With the Inquisition's team of advisors pushing her to help the Inquisition, Adria decided to stay. This could be the beginning of something new. Maybe she can be Isabella Blackstone. Maybe she can be free.
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Original Character(s), Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s), Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Pushing herself out of bed, Adria couldn’t exactly remember all the details in how she had got here. Her head hurt and she felt groggy. She pushed herself up on to her side. At least she was alone in this bed. 

A clattering of dishes hit the ground. 

“Oh. You’re awake,” a maid hesitantly spoke. She looked at the feet and mumbled, “Lady Cassandra asked me to tell you to head to the chantry if you woke up.”

Lady Cassandra? She looked down at her clothing and her hand. A light green glow emanating from it.

_Right. Yes. Yesterday I settled the temper of a hole in the sky. Just another hole I've made happy._ She smiled slightly to herself at the joke and then noticed the maid was still there. 

“Thank you. You are dismissed.” The maid quickly gathered up her things off the floor and ran out of the room.

Now Adria just had to remember what she had told them yesterday and what her current story was.

It came to her slowly as she put on the simple trousers and shirt laid out for her. Right, Isabella Blackstone, fifth daughter of Henry Blackstone. They came to the Conclave as merchants eager to set up shop. Sir Blackstone had brought her to start to introduce her to some other merchants, trying to find a suitor. Yes, a perfectly good backstory. It should stand up for a little while at least. _Poor Damien. He had made such a good Blackstone._

Adria looked around house and found a small mirror on the wall. She fixed her dark hair so that it fell in gentle waves and washed her face. It would do for now until she could find some charcoal and red beeswax for her lips. She rolled up the pants so they would show a bit of ankle and did up the strings on her top loosely - just tight enough that a glance would look like an accident but loose enough that a few people would get a glance. Isabella wasn’t the tease she was normally used to playing. It would be a tough act to keep up. Her best bet was to blend in. 

_Well here goes nothing._ She opened the door and was met by stunned faces.

“It’s the Herald!” Someone shouted and the crowds instantly started flocking. Blending in clearly wasn’t going to be an option. She attempted to walk with a semblance of modesty and made her way to the Chantry.

—

Adria looked across the war table at the three individuals who were asking her to join their crew. Josephine was one of those smart, chatty, politically savvy types - Damien would have loved her - Adria would need to be careful about what she revealed she knew about court. Cassandra a hard-ass religious type - strong and stubborn - Adria could work with that. Leliana was a fiery red head, the resident spymaster. She could potentially be dangerous and blow Adria’s cover. She would need to be careful there. And finally Cullen, a strong, tall, smouldering blonde man tied to honour and duty - perfect for someone like Adria or Charlotte’s methods.

Thinking of Charlotte made Adria’s heart hurt. _Poor Charlotte. So sweet._ Adria missed her and also cursed her. It was Charlotte's fault she was at the Conclave. 

“Herald?” Cullen had reached out and briefly touched her shoulder.

“Oh yes. I’m so sorry Commander,” She smiled up at him innocently speaking in a perfect Orlesian accent, “What were you asking?”

“I had asked if you were planning on staying and working with us to close the breach,” He asked.

“I don’t think I have skills you can use Commander.” 

“Your mark is the only thing that has been shown to have any affect on the breach so I think you can help a lot,” He finished awkwardly looking down at her hands.

Adria noticed that his gaze hesitated on her curves as it traveled down. She made a mental note to think about how to use that later. A sexually starved chantry boy could make for a good time or at least some blackmail material if she needed it.

“And the people think you are the Herald of Andraste. Your presence would greatly increase morale,” Josephine added. 

Adria was still in shock of that one. The things she had done in her past - Andraste would die again if she knew. Adria didn’t really have a choice. She could return to the Architect unsuccessful and ashamed or use this as a chance to finally be free. Everyone else was dead. 

“Well it sounds like you need me and I don’t really have anywhere else to go. So where should we get started?” She looked up to the advisors as what she hoped was eager and inquisitive. A young girl ready to start a new adventure with new friends.

They discussed their next steps - the Hinterlands and the many refugees there from the war between the mages and templars. Yes, that would be a good place to start.

“We will need to give you some basic training before we go,” Cassandra looked at Adria up and down. “Do you have any combat training?”

“My father taught me to work with daggers just in case a man tried to attack me when we were out,” she said meekly, “Will that help?” She heard Cullen clear his throat at her comment. 

“Yes. That will be a good place to start. Cassandra will work with you on that prior to the Hinterlands,” Cullen spit out a little too quickly. It seemed like he was eager to delegate the work to Cassandra.

“That will be lovely,” Adria smiled up at him, “I’m so happy to have been found by the three of you. We are going to be great friends. I just know it.” She finished the statement on Josephine, who smiled at her. Adria felt a little sick. Isabella was going to be hard to sustain for a long time. With that Adria felt it was her time to make an exit but felt something catching in her throat.

_Her friends. Her real friends. They were all dead. There was no more chances to be with them, to come through on unlikely odds, to drink the spoils of a successful evening._

“Herald,” Cullen had put his hand on her shoulder, “Are you alright?”

“I was just thinking about my family. How… how…I’ll never see them again.” Adria started sobbing and surprised herself at the realness of her sorrow. 

“Yes. You have suffered a great loss. Perhaps you should go lay down?” 

She had suffered a great loss - just not the one the Commander knew about. Her makeshift family was gone. Charlotte, Carver, Damien, Wedge - all dead either before or during the conclave. She was all alone now. 

—

Adria left the war room and started out of the Chantry. She noticed a small hallway on her right and walked into it. She was hoping to find a way into the cellars. There was often vents or other things that she could use to hear useful information. There was a staircase leading down to a cellar - jackpot. She walked through the cellar until she could hear some shouting above her. She would need to know more information on how her story was playing out. She couldn’t possibly go back on it now.

—  
  
Cullen was furious.

“She has less experience than a child,” he shouted at the other advisors, “Sending her to the Hinterlands will be her death.”

“I will go with her and we will convince Varric and Solas to come,” Cassandra stated, “We will protect her and teach her. She will be crucial to securing the rifts.”

“It is not fair to break that kind of innocence.” He slammed his fists on the table. “She likely hasn’t even seen a man die.”

“Probably hasn’t seen a man naked either,” Leliana snickered. Cullen’s face turned red. 

“Why would you say such a thing?” 

“Your eyes keep eating up the poor girl, Cullen,” Leliana smirked at him, “You’re the one so concerned about her innocence.” Cullen scowled at the spymaster. 

“Enough of this,” Cassandra demanded stepping between the two of them, “Leliana, what have you learned about the girl?”

“To start, she’s not a girl,” Leliana stated. “Fifth child of Henry Blackstone - a minor Orlesian merchant. Rich enough to be invited to sell wares but not rich enough to be important at court. Most of his other children are already married off. Isabella seems to be the only one left. She wasn’t mentioned until about six months ago but she does have birth records in the Chantry. She is 23 summers. There are rumours that she was brought with her father on his last few travels so he could try to convince someone to marry her.”

“Not unusual for a child so far down in succession from a minor house to not be spoken of much,” Josephine stated.

“Yes,” Leliana postulated, “But the story feels too clean for the woman who ended up in front of us. She is a beauty and could have been married to someone of a higher status earlier in her life to advance her family. Something feels wrong but I haven’t quite put my finger on it yet. I’ll need to do some more digging.” 

“In the meantime, I will train her in some basics and then we will go to the Hinterlands,” Cassandra firmly stated to the group.

“But…”

“No Commander,” She stopped Cullen mid sentence, “Unless you have a better solution to closing the breach, we don’t have a choice. We can just be grateful that the Herald has chosen to stay.”

— 

Adria heard chairs and feet scraping in the war room. Well at least her story was catching for a few of the advisors. As long as she was careful, she might be able to get away with the story. The real Isabella and Henry Blackstone were long dead. His other children long paid off with coin and scared into silence - everyone had secrets that could be used against them. It would take them a long time to turn. She waited for what felt like hours before she left the cellar. Needn’t give anyone a reason to be curious why she was still in the Chantry. 

—

“Have you seen a shield before in your life? What do you think they are for?” Cullen barked. He was still furious from the meeting in the war room. Furious about being involved in corrupting such an innocent life. She would see a man die then she would change. That is how it always worked. 

He thought of her in the ill-fitting clothes from this morning. Trousers and the big loose shirt. The shirt has been a much too loose. With her sitting in the chair and Cullen standing, he could see her collarbone, the tops of her breasts. He shivered thinking about it.  
  
Maker she was beautiful. Dark long wavy hair, dark blue eyes and those red lips on her olive skin. She didn’t look Orlesian but she certainly sounded the part. Cullen tried to push the sinful thoughts out of his mind. 

  
She was the Herald and was so innocent, so pure. He had already corrupted enough in his life. He would leave this one alone.  
  
He threw himself into a training exercise. The sweat would make him forget.

— 

Adria snuck back to her cabin and entered through a side window. She felt confident that no one had seen her. This was her element, where she was most skilled.She calmed herself and then exited out the front door, walking back to the Chantry. She found Josephine at a desk pouring over a pile of letters.

“Miss Josephine?” She said quietly like a mouse disturbing a cat.

“Ah yes, Herald? What can I help you with?” Her rich Antivan accent felt nice on Adria’s ears. She tried to pick up some the nuances - maybe she could use it later. 

“Can I get some clothing decent for a woman and if possible some charcoal and red beeswax. It feels strange to be without,” she smiled sweetly at the Ambassador.

“Of course! I am sure you are used to much better service in your home but I will help you with all I can.” Josephine rose to her feet, “The clothing we can get right now and I have some charcoal and beeswax you can take. I understand you must be feeling uncomfortable.”

“You are so generous and kind.” Adria smiled up at the Ambassador.

—  


Back in her cabin with some clothing options and some make-up, Adria worked on getting herself ready for the evening. She wanted to walk around and meet some of the people. She needed to get some reconnaissance on the party and especially the advisors if she was going to keep up this ruse. 

— 

Cullen joined Rylen and a few men in the tavern. It was good to show your men that their leader condoned a bit of merriment and it was good to get to know them as men and not just as soldiers. 

Over a pint of mead, they discussed the training plans for the next day and some potential tactics. He noticed Rylen’s glass getting empty and looked up to flag the bar staff. 

He paused with his mouth open.

The Herald had just walked into the Tavern. Gone were the loose fitting clothing from this morning. Instead the Herald wore a tight fitting shirt tied a little loose but modestly enough and a flowing skirt. The skirt has a small slit in the side that showed her ankles and calves as she walked. It was mesmerizing. He traveled up her body to her face - somehow it had gotten more accentuated since the morning - maybe it was the light. 

“Cullen?” He felt a hand on his shoulder, “Are you getting us another round or did you forget?” 

“Yes, yes, of course.” He signalled to the bar staff.

—

  
Adria knew her looks were riding the line between Isabella Blackstone and what she usually looked like but she couldn’t stay looking like a prude forever. She could ease into who she was.

“Herald. Over here!” She looked up to see the dwarf from the other day - Varric - waving at here. She walked slowly towards him, careful to notice and mentally note the attention she was getting. She lapped it up. It had been months since she had an assignment that relied on how she looked. She missed the attention.

Varric got her drink and they started to chat about some pleasantries and the days ahead.

— 

The night was dwindling and she needed to make her way back to her cabin. She knew she had training the next day and Isabella Blackstone would never stay out this late. 

“Varric,” Adria smiled at him, “I don’t think I’ve ever been out so late. This has been a most pleasant evening. I do wish we will do it again.”

Varric looked at her quizzically. “You drank quite a bit for someone who doesn’t stay out late.”

“I have been to parties Varric,” she slapped him lightly on the shoulder, “I just don’t stay out too late. Never know what could happen to a woman when it’s so dark.” She slowly got up and walked towards the tavern door.  


The liquor had loosened her a little and she could feel some elements of her former acts slipping out. She swished her hair a little too much and drove her hips a little much. She could feel more eyes falling upon her. It was just easier to play a part you always knew. It was much harder to play a newer one.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She shuddered. It had to be the Architect. This was it. Playtime was over.

“Herald, I would like to accompany you back to your cabin.” It was Cullen. The handsome man from before. She smiled up at him

“I’m sure you would like to come back to my cabin Commander.” The words slipped out of Adria’s mouth a little too sultry. _Maker. I’ve blown it._ She thought.

He quickly removed his hand from her shoulder. His face growing red. “I…uh… see you’ve had a bit too much to drink.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wish to make sure you get back to your cabin safely so you can enjoy your night…alone.”

“Oh,” she smiled over at him, “You are too sweet. Lead the way Commander.”

She noticed Rylen give him the thumbs up and the Commander grimace in return as he lead her back to her cabin.

—

Cullen fell against the wall of the Herald’s cabin.

Did she actually suggest he might want to come inside? And he had responded by wishing her a night alone. _Maker_. He was making a fool of himself. She had looked at him so coyly when they got to her cabin. Standing in the door frame, her leg sticking out of her slit. When she whispered goodnight to him, he felt goosebumps on the back of his neck. Then she had shut the door. 

_Get yourself together. She is just another pretty face. You’ve gotten past others. You can get past this one. Focus on the Inquisition. Focus on the recruits._

_Besides._ Cullen thought to himself. _You’ve_ _ruined enough innocent lives. Let this one be._

—

Adria nestled into her bed and made some mental notes about the evening. She had almost slipped up with the Commander and with the dwarf, Varric. She would need to avoid drinking so much and she would need to think of some more childhood stories to tell. Maybe even some silly Orlesian hobbies. Her night was just beginning. She would need to flush out Isabella Blackstone more if she expected the story to hold.

  
Strangely, Adria felt hopeful. _Maybe this is the end of Adria._ She thought. _Maybe now I can just be someone else. Maybe now I can be free._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adria sides with the mages and slips up.

“We have done good work today,” Cassandra stated to the group. A fire crackling in the middle of them. They had used makeshift logs as chairs and propped up their tents for a night of rest. 

Varric, Solas and Adria all nodded in approval. Exhausted and relieved that their time in the Hinterlands was soon coming to an end. 

Since coming to the area, there had been no time to stop. Refugees needed to be helped and fed, some were even recruited to the Inquisition. Then there were the rifts - so many of them and the constant need to fight. The constant fighting between the templars and mages. It was clear that the people here needed a break. They needed some help. 

On the brightside, they had managed to find an extremely good horse trainer named Dennet 

Today had been a busy day of helping refugees. Solas had worked with the healers while Cassandra and the Inquisitor had hunted for food in the nearby trees. Varric, well, he kept everyone’s spirits high. 

Cassandra and Solas were the first to retire. Both stating they needed to do some light reading before turning in for the night.

The embers burned low as Varric looked across the fire at Adria.

“So what are you hiding, Stabs?” He whispered to her in the dark. 

“I don’t have any idea what you mean.” 

“I’ve met a lot of Orlesian merchants and their children and none of them can wield daggers half as good as you.”

“Cassandra is a great teacher.”

“A few weeks can’t teach you something you’ve been doing for at least a decade.” Varric’s eyebrows were raised, his eyes boring into her.

“I am a fast learner,” She rebuffed and looked at him defiantly. 

“Look, you don’t need to tell me the truth,” Varric paused gesturing around them, “But all these people, they believe in you and if you don’t tell them the truth, things aren’t going to go well.”

Varric stood up and turned towards his tent. He shook his head and let out a sigh before walking away from the fire.

Adria knew she had been too good with her daggers the last few weeks but it was hard not to resort to instinct and training when danger was constantly around her. Cassandra, Solas and Varric had all seen her fight. There wasn’t any going back on that now.

— 

Cullen could feel the buzz in Haven and a strong positive uptick in morale. People were being more pleasant and going about their duties more efficiently. The Herald and her crew must have returned in the night. A big decision lay ahead for the Inquisition - they would need the help of the mages or the templars in order to close the breach. 

Cullen’s head was splitting today. He wasn’t ready for the conversation that would surely come to fruition later in the day but his steps felt lighter. He spent extra time shaving his face and styling his hair. Isabella was back and she would surely look perfect. 

He smiled and hummed to himself as he got ready. He knew he couldn’t have the Herald. He didn’t deserve her. But he could be happy she returned and was safe.

_I wonder what washed up individual she has brought home this time._ He thought. The Herald had made a habit of bringing people back to Haven to join the Inquisition. All types of individuals had flocked to help her. Her magnetism drawing them in. The first time it was a Warden but then she had brought back a frighteningly aggressive female mage and then the Qunari. Cullen thought back to the Qunari at Kirkwall - at least The Iron Bull had been honest about his intentions. Not to mention the healers and recruits. Cullen had become a very busy man. 

—

“No, I can’t see how we could possibly get into Redcliffe. We don’t have enough troops to take the castle. This is a fool’s errands.” Cullen angrily pressed the group. His mouth in line, his brow furrowed. He leaned over the war room table. “It will be much easier to seek the Templar’s assistance with closing the breach.”

“Commander, the choice isn’t an easy one but we can’t leave the mages under a Tevinter Magister,” Adria reasoned.

“At least they will have some level of oversight there. We can’t possibly have them here potentially turning into abominations.” He snapped back at her.

Looking over at Adria, he saw something growing. She was standing tall, rage building in her eyes. She seemed to be filled with fire.

“We will seek help from the mages - as equals.”

“This brings so much risk to our endeavours.”

“The mages are trapped - first by people like you in the circle and now in this deal with Alexius, if we do not help them, what do we even stand for?” Her words cut into Cullen.

“They were not trapped.”

“Oh, they could all leave like you did and it’s all great and lovely?” The plight of the mages burned with Adria. She could understand being in a situation you couldn’t escape, constantly fighting to get out or giving up and resolving to just let it be. She thought of the Architect’s mouth on hers and shivered unpleasantly.

“I am going to get the mages and if we can’t storm the castle, we will need to think of another way in.”

“I think I have an idea,” Leliana smiled and began to lay out a plan.

—

Adria watched as the town of Haven slowly fell into the rhythm of nightfall. Those with families returning to them. The smithy closing up shop. Door tightening and the tavern’s door constantly opening as patrons squeezed inside. A few lovers sneaking to different nook and crannies of the town.

She loved to take a moment to observe the hustle and bustle from the outside. It calmed her to see the transition and feel the settlement slowly fall asleep.

A quiet clank of armor was getting closer and she looked up to see Cullen approaching her.

“Herald.” He looked unsettled. “May I join you?”

Adria moved down the bench and gestured to the open seat. “Go right ahead.”

“I’ve heard you have quite a way with the refugees.” He started.

Adria recognized this as an attempt to start a neutral conversation.

“They are trapped in a war they didn’t start. It is the right thing to help them.” 

“Cassandra told me that they all seem to trust you,” he let out a light chuckle and looked down at Adria, “and that many are smitten by you.”

Adria let out a nervous laugh. “I guess I’m easy to trust.” She paused. “The other part is likely heresy.”

“The others mentioned you are very adept with your daggers. Now that you might increase the anger of the templars towards you, perhaps we should make sure you can defend yourself against a sword and shield” 

“What do you suggest Commander?”

“You could come train with the recruits. Spar with them and get used to how a templar might fight against you.”

“Could I spar you sometime?” Adria looked up at him with soft eyes. 

Cullen could feel a light blush blooming on his cheeks.

“I would like that.” He breathed the air out of his lungs a little harder than he expected.

“I should go Commander. We have a big day ahead of us.” Adria stood up from the bench. Her hand lightly trailing on Cullen’s leg as she stood sending tingles up his spine.

“Maker go with you.” He said into the night as she walked away.

—

Cullen composed himself and headed back to his tent. He let out a breath that he had been holding in. He could feel the tightening in his pants. 

Even accidentally, no one had touched his leg and caused any kind of reaction for quite some time. It was just an accidental brush. He felt ashamed as his arousal. It was sinful and unclean. 

He removed his armor and made his way to bed. Laying in bed, he could feel the Herald’s hand brushing his leg and he imagined her touching his face, brushing his chest, running her hands over his thighs, her mouth finding his swollen shaft and gently encompassing it. He groaned as his gripped himself under the sheets and started slowly moving his hands up and down. He thought about her soft olive skin against his as she lowered herself on to him. He shuddered and let out a low moan as he came, his stickiness filling his hands. 

—

Tensions in the war room were high. 

The Herald and her party had returned from Redcliffe with the mages as partners. But the events of Redcliffe left many questions and confusion.

Dorian and Adria explained what happened in the future and how they had come out of it to the advisors. Adria was careful to leave out details about how they had all know her identity. Dorian respected her omissions. 

The advisors asked many questions and also were patient and understanding. Pain behind their eyes. They looked worried. 

“This has been a lot to take in.” Cassandra admitted. “We will leave you to rest for the evening and can discuss more in the morning.”

The advisors left the war room one by one. Cullen was the last to leave.

“Isabella,” he paused looking her in the eyes. His face soft and caring. He looked wounded with dark circles around his eyes. “This has been a harrowing experience. Please let me know if you need anything.”

Dorian piped up immediately, “Oh I will Commander.”

Cullen face immediately hardened. 

“Yes, you too as well.” He turned and walked out of the room. 

Only Dorian and Adria remained. 

“That man wants to jump you,” Dorian smiled at her, “I would definitely jump him. He looks fit.”

“Thanks for that,” Adria rolled her eyes at Dorian’s comment. 

“So do you prefer Isabella, Adria or lying whore?” Dorian looked over at her. 

Adria put her face in her hands defeated remembering the red lyrium future of Redcliffe and how each of her companions knew about her secret. Most of the reactions to her return had not been pleasant. 

“Look darling,” Dorian started, “I’m not one to judge. Everyone has parts of their past they don’t want others to know…but it seems like everyone will figure out your ruse eventually.” 

Adria looked up at him.

“You saw how they will treat me,” she said indignantly. “Besides we’ve stopped that future, right?” Her memories brought up visions of Cullen telling her she was a worthless whore. Vivienne’s fury over her deception and Iron Bull’s reasoning with her. They had all been so disappointed.

“Who cares what they will think?” Dorian smiled at her, “You can be yourself. You don’t need to pretend to be this.” He gestured to her entire being.

“I’m tired of being the whore,” Adria admitted, “At least, with Isabella, it isn’t expected of me. I can be something else.”

“But admit it, being the whore was more fun,” Dorian winked at her, “Besides, you seemed alright to me before you became the wet noodle you were in the war room today.”

Adria laughed.

“All I am saying is you spend a lot of time with these people. They will figure it out. It will hurt them less if you tell them earlier.”

Adria knew Dorian was right but she felt hopeful. The breach would soon be closed. Then she could leave and start a new life, maybe with a new name. She could hold out for a few more weeks.

—

Cullen had insisted that Adria start to train with the troops. It would raise their morale he said. The first few trainings she just did sparring exercises, simple activities. She tried to look like she was floundering and it was hard. 

“This sword looks like it’s never been cleaned in it’s life,” He shouted at a recruit next to Adria, “If you don’t take care of it, you won’t have a sword. You will clean every sword we have this evening until I can see my face shine back in them. Are we understood?”

“Yes, sir,” the young recruit trembled.

Cullen was strict with his recruits but it meant that they were making progress. 

He approached Adria as she ran through a drill. She lunged forward with the sword and then raised her shield to block a potential incoming attack. The commander watched her with soft analyzing eyes. 

He came over and adjusted her stance. Gently putting his hand on her elbow.

“Your elbow needs to be lower here since most of your opponents will be taller than you.” He stuck a foot between her two feet and tapped at the inside of her foot to widen her stance. “They will also likely be bigger than you so you will need to have a firm stance in order to take their blow. It will only help to be light and nimble if you can dodge. If you need to parry, you will need to be able take it.” The Commander was awfully close to her the moment, with his foot between her legs and one hand on her arm, she could feel his breastplate on her back. She heard him swallow as he stepped back.

“Yes, that should work. Now try the flow.” 

She worked through it, conscious of the Commander’s eyes on her movements the whole time. 

“That was very good Herald. I think you might be ready to try sparring in a few days.” 

\--

The next few days felt like a constant tease.

Adria noticed herself watching the Commander more and more as he worked with his recruits and with her. She noticed the way his face lit up when they did something right and the instant scowl when they didn’t. But he was always beside them, showing the way, teaching, leading. It was easy to tell he cared for each of these men - some of which he has only met days before.

She watched him as he ran them through a basic workout routine before the drills. Her eyes outlining his shoulder blades as they moved up while he did a push up or tracing the muscles in his legs when he ran. Maker’s breath. He was chiseled. He caught her eyes a few times and she would quickly look away. When she looked back up at him, she could almost swear that he was grinning. 

Adria started to notice that she wasn’t the only one staring. She caught the Commander’s eye as she ran through drills and worked with the team. If she caught him looking, he almost always just nodded or tried to explain what she was doing well or not - even the times she had noticed his eyes trailing down her backside or chest. This normally would have alarmed Adria. She knew what the lust of men could result in but for some reason, the Commander’s gaze felt safe. 

\--

The week ended with sparring. Adria had sparred with a couple new recruits and did okay. Not too obvious, just the right amount of experience she thought. Most of the recruits had left for the evening. Adria stayed behind to practice a few more flows before she left.

“You did well this week,” Cullen walked over to her. 

“Why thank you Commander. You’ve been an excellent trainer.” She smiled up at him. His cheeks turned slightly pink.

“Would you like to try me out?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Cullen tried to correct, “With a sword? I mean spar with me?”

Adria giggled. “That could be fun.”

He started easy. Going for a few swipes at the side so she could parry and get used to the reverberation. She played along pretending the reverberation bothered her and she needed a moment to recover. He was polite and gave her a moment each time to gather herself. 

_  
Remember you haven’t done this before._

She steadied herself and nodded at him and he came at her with force. She deflected and went in for a jab. Stepping to the left, she easily dodged his blow but ended up right in front of his shield. He took the opportunity to give her a light shove with his shield. Being off balance already, she fell. He stepped over, his sword pointed at her. He withdrew it and started walking away.

“That is what I mentioned in the drills the other day. A larger person in the right position can easily get to you” He reached out to help her up. She took his hand and came up to meet him. They stood awkwardly close. Cullen pulled away

“Again?” He said and started to walk away to position himself. 

Adria hated to lose but she knew how the Commander had been looking at her. She knew how the spar could easily be won. 

She went to step forward but instead clutched at her side, stumbling to the ground. 

“Commander Cullen…” her voice faltered.

He paused. That voice. It didn’t sound Orlesian. It sounded Fereldan. It sounded like someone he grew up. His heart turned him around, pulled him to help. He turned around and ran over to her, extending his hand to help Isabella up. 

“Are you alright?”

“I think…I…I’ll be okay.” Again Fereldan.

He felt it before he saw it. A small blade next to his stomach. He met her eyes. They were filled with fire. She smirked. 

“And that’s how they will get you Commander.”Back to Orlesian. His face scrunched in confusion as she put her blade away.

Adria heard a deep gasp and then a brunt command.

“Who are you?”

Leliana stepped out of the shadows and walked towards her. 

“What do you mean?” Adria asked feigning confusion. _Shit_.

“Who are you?” She repeated. Her face getting closer to Adria’s.

“Leliana, what is the meaning of this?” Cullen demanded.

“Someone has a secret and it’s high time they have told us. Cullen can you get Cassandra and Josephine. We will meet them in the war room.” She grabbed Adria’s arm. “Don’t bother trying to run. Being the Herald won’t save you now.”

— 

Leliana shoved Adria down into a chair in the room. Josephine, Cassandra and Cullen all were in the room. Looks of confusion in their eyes.

“What is the meaning of this?” Cassandra asked.

“Someone has been playing tricks with us.” Leliana looked furious. “And I let it slip past me. I knew your backstory was too clean.”

Adria’s eyes looked around the room. Could she make her way out? It would be difficult to get past the four of them - well not Josephine - but the others together would be impossible.”

“Leliana, care to explain, what’s going on here?”

“Our acquaintance is a spy or an assassin or some kind of combination.” Leliana turned towards the other advisors. “And she might have gotten away with it if she didn’t make such an obvious play. Were you trying to get caught?"

Adria’s eyes trailed down to the floor. It was a rookie mistake. She had stopped thinking and played the card that could have saved her life in an emergency - just to best the commander in a silly duel. To show she could. They would expel her or kill her for sure now. 

Leliana started pacing in the room. "I don’t see how I didn’t see it. The vague merchant house with just enough dirt to be able to hide something. Just rich enough to be possible but not rich enough to draw attention. Everything was a little too polished and clean. Your Fereldan accent is very good by the way or is that your normal accent? What happened to Isabella Blackstone?”

“She’s dead,” Adria admitted, “Her and Henry, they both died over a decade ago. House fire.”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” Cullen stood up looking around at them all. “She’s a spy?”

“Yes or assassin and gave herself away with a very elementary move.” 

“But why are you here? Why were you at the Conclave?” Cullen looked back at her.

“Everyone has to eat,” she said blankly, “It was a job.”

Cassandra slammed her fists on the table. “And what was the job?”

“I only know my piece of the puzzle.” _Maybe if I tell them the truth they will let me stay. Everyone else is dead now._ “Cullen was one of my marks. It’s why I knew The Lamb would work on him.”

“What’s a mark?” Josephine asked.

“It’s the person you are hired to kill.”

“WHAT” Cullen shouted, “you were supposed to kill me?” He sat down rubbing the back of his neck. “We trusted you.”

“Only if you got in the way…we didn’t know who would end up in the room in the Conclave. If you tried to interfere with the plan, then I would have had to distract or kill you. Don’t be too flattered. You were one of ten people that I was watching." 

“What would I have interfered with?” Cullen demanded.

“Kidnapping the divine.” 

“For who?” Cassandra asked anger filling her eyes and stance. 

“I don’t know. I wasn’t the Architect. I don’t know the whole plan. I just know my marks, my position and what would signal I needed to act.” She admitted. “At the end of the day. I only had to make sure my marks didn’t interfere to get paid.”

Cassandra, Cullen and Leliana looked furious. Josephine looked surprised but like she was calculating something in her mind. 

Josephine was the first to speak “This is most interesting. What’s your real name?”

“Adria.” 

“Adria what?”

“Last names are for people who can afford them or that have reason to associate with others," Adria spit out. 

“Are you from Orlais?”

“I am from nowhere really. Wherever there are jobs - wherever I was sent.” She turned to Cullen, “I am sorry I pulled the Lamb on you. It said it would work in the information I received on you.”

Leliana started laughing then. “The Lamb is perfect for Cullen.”

Adria allowed herself to smile a little. “I know.”

“What is the Lamb?” Cullen snapped.

“Well it’s when you pretend you are hurt like a little lamb. You need to use big eyes and pull at something emotional - hence the change to a Fereldan accent.” 

Cullen started to go red in the face and brought his hands up to it. “And it would work on me why?”

“You regret killing people in the past” Leliana started. She continued a bit quieter, “And you have a tiny bit of saviour complex….”

“I do not have a saviour complex.” Cullen said flatly. She caught Leliana rolling her eyes. 

“The Lamb is a risky move. It assumes that you will do the right thing.” Adria tried to clarify, “It’s not usually my move. That’s why it was so obvious. I was only supposed to have 5 marks that fit my speciality. You were added on last minute. I only rehearsed fighting with you about 20 times, that’s why it wasn’t executed very well.”

“Oh you executed it well.” Leliana clarified. “You just got caught”.

“Assassin’s have specialities?” Josephine asked.

“Yes,” Adria explained, “Certain kinds of people will fall to different tactics. A guild will have different people that can fill those tactics. Charlotte was our lamb but she had…complications…at a job a few weeks back. I was the next best fit. I didn’t have the skills to take on mages or chantry members - they wouldn’t have been good fits for my profile.”

“Wait. Who takes on those roles?”

She locked eyes with Leliana and then looked back at Cullen.

“Templars.” He admitted, “they would be the only ones able to do it well.”

“Yes. People in all walks of life will do things for money. Most crews have a templar or two. They keep them the same way the chantry does.”

“Lyrium” Cullen sighed exasperated.

“You were in a crew with how many?” Leliana asked. 

“There were four in my crew. They are all dead now.”

“And you reported to someone or operated independently?”

“We reported to an Architect.” 

Leliana nodded. 

“So if you aren’t the Lamb. What’s your speciality?” Leliana pressed. Leliana was intense - clearly frustrated that this knowledge had escaped her grasp. 

“I’m the Pet.”

Leliana clapped her hands together as if finally putting the last piece of a puzzle together. “It makes so much sense. You are good with daggers. Light on your feet. Lovely figure. You can do an Orlesian accent. How many?”

“Hundreds. At least 200. I am not sure.”

“Wow. You are quite accomplished.”

“I don’t understand this. What’s a pet?” Cullen demanded.

“Oh Cullen,” Leliana said, “You won’t like it.” He looked indignantly. He still wanted to be in on the secret. 

“I want to know as well” said Josephine.

“A pet is code was someone whose marks are susceptible to a woman’s touch. Their marks always die in their beds.” 

“You mean, you take people to bed and then you kill them?”

She nodded. Adria bowed her head in shame. She felt Cullen tense up and turn beet red. 

“For how long?” 

“Ten years. I started in my sixteenth winter.”

“You poor woman. Are you also…” Leliana’s eyes trailed down to her abdomen.

“Yes.” Adria buried her face in her hands. 

She could tell Cullen, Cassandra and Josephine didn’t know what Leliana meant but she didn’t want to explain. She needed switch the topics. She piped up.

“I can do a bunch of different accents. It’s part of the job.”

She switched to a Navvarian accent and spoke to them. Then an Antivan. Then back to Orlesian and finally finishing up with Fereldan. 

“I needed to blend in.”

Cullen face was a line. He looked dead set against this continuing.

“You can kick me out now or treat me like a prisoner or kill me. I get it. I lied and I was caught. It’s always been a risk of the job. There are too many of you for me to fight my way out of this.” Adria pleaded. 

“You aren’t a prisoner.” Cullen spoke at last. “You can leave when you like but you have the mark on your hand and it appears to be the only thing that affects the breach. Lies or not, we need you to stay.”

“Cullen,” she whispered. He looked over at her. “I’m sorry.”

He looked back with fire in his eyes and retorted her line back at her “Everyone has to eat.” And he stormed out of the room.

“Yes, that is true. We will need to move past this. While your reasons for coming to the Conclave are upsetting. What is done is done.” Cassandra paused. “We still need to seal the breach”. Cassandra followed after Cullen.

Only Leliana and Josephine remained. Leliana turned to her “Anymore secrets we need to know, Adria?”

It was weird to hear her name.

“The Architect might still be alive. He didn’t come to the conclave.”

“I see. We should discuss this further and come up with a plan for that if he comes before we seal the breach. Do you have a debt?”

“I do not have a financial debt to him any more.”

“So you are a free assassin?” Leliana prodded.

She looked up at her and gulped. “I am his pet. Are you ever free of that?”

Leliana nodded. She understood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far. Please leave me any feedback if you have any. This is only the second piece I've written so I'm open to learning and getting better :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The breach is closed. The party leaves Haven.

Cullen felt his rage pooling around him as he left the Chantry hall. 

“Cullen!” Cassandra called after him.

He turned around to face her.

“How dare she lie to us,” he snapped towards Cassandra - fury building in his breath and tone of voice, “How dare she pretend to be someone so innocent when she has done so much.”

“You must stay strong in this. The Maker chose her to close the breach. We are close to completing that,” Cassandra reasoned, “We don’t have to do anything with her after that. We can decide our fate then.”

“I want nothing to do with that whore,” Cullen spat out and stormed off to his cabin. Soon the breach would be closed and they could be rid of Adria forever.

—

Cullen tossed and turned in his cot. He knew his anger at Adria felt irrational but she had lied, pretended to be someone else and he had allowed himself a moment to wonder what it might be like with that someone else. Isabella had seemed so sweet and pure and Adria was clearly not pure. No woman who had so often went against the passages of the Chantry could be redeemed. She was too far gone. He laid on his back facing the fabric roof of his tent. His anger swelling. He closed his eyes and all he could see was her face - her smile - the curves of her hip.

 _Maker_. The woman was a harlot and now he knew it. Why did he still wish he could touch her?

—

Adria couldn’t sleep. Today they would close the breach and then it would be over. If she survived closing the breach, she wasn’t sure what was next. Where could she go? Who could she be? It wouldn’t be possible to be Isabella Blackstone anymore and she wasn’t sure if being Adria would be any better.

She rolled out of bed. It was still before the morning light but a walk would be better than sitting in bed doing nothing.

As she walked the town of Haven, Adria marvelled at the stillness. Mornings weren’t usually her moment. She saw the town in a new way. The calm before the storm.

Her feet led her up the stair’s by Adan’s cabin and that’s when she noticed she wasn’t the only one awake.

Cullen’s shape was outlined by the slowly rising morning light. His golden hair tinged by the light pink sky. He sat on a bench, his head in his hands. Prepared for the day in full armour already. Adria had met a lot of man and many of them had been handsome but something about Cullen in the morning light pulled at her. Her looked mystical, impossibly perfect. 

_A knight from a children’s story._ Adria thought as she looked down at him. A strange desire welled inside her. She longed to sit next to him and share the morning. Observe Haven rise together. See the commotion begin.

Cullen looked up. His amber eyes meeting hers. He looked exhausted - purple bags under his eyes. His movements slow. His brow furrowed. 

“Herald?” He said questioning. Recognition watched over his face and he rose to his feet.  
“Commander,” Adria acknowledged, “May I join you?”  
“There is nothing to join,” Cullen snapped a little too harshly, “I was just doing some rounds.”  
“Then I can join you on your rounds,” Adria suggested smiling.  
“Well…with your,” Cullen paused, running his hand through his hair, “ _experiences_. I’m not sure if that would be decent of me.”  
“I understand,” Adria lowered her gaze to the ground. His words stung.   
“It will be a big day. Best to get started.” Cullen moved forward, walking past Adria.  
He felt her hand on his arm. He stiffened.   
“Commander,” she paused.  
He turned to face her.  
“You would have never accepted me or trusted me if you knew the truth,” She looked up at Cullen with a soft gaze, tears pooling in her eyes.  
“If I die today, know that I am sorry I lied to you and I wish it could have been different.” She lifted her hand from his arm, “I wish I could have been different.” 

She turned and walked away. 

—   
Cullen felt Adria’s hand on his arm long after she walked away. He thought about the softness in her eyes, the weight of the words on her breath. He tried to push it out of his mind but she always seemed to push back in.

He organized his troops for the day. Rage stewing within him. Why couldn’t he get her out. Her apology just wasn’t enough. 

— 

“You were really something today, Stabs,” Varric slid a drink in front of Adria and joined her at the corner booth.

The day had been long. The breach finally sealed. Now the food and mead poured freely. The celebrations had begun. 

“Thanks Varric,” she looked down into her drink and downed it in one go.

“You just saved Thedas. You’re a hero. What’s eating you?” 

“They all hate me for pretending to be someone I am not.” Adria looked down into her drink.

Varric shook his head pushed another drink in front of her, “When you are the hero in the story. Everyone quickly forgets the rest.” 

Adria looked up across the tavern at the faces around her. Iron Bull and the chargers raising a glass to her. Dorian winked at her as he spoke with a tall, dark handsome man by the door. Blackwall and Sera smiling over at her before starting some kind of drinking game. They all looked so happy.

“To the Herald!” Someone shouted from the bar. “To the Herald.” The tavern echoed in unison. Adria flushed with happiness.  
Her eyes continued to scan and the tavern and stopped as they met amber eyes across the floor.  
The Commander stared back at her defiantly. She hadn’t noticed he was looking before. His stare could have punctured her heart. She smiled at him. It was not returned. He coldly turned his shoulder to face Cassandra who was seated next to him.   
“Ah yes,” Varric laughed, “Curly takes a while to come around.”  
“Curly?”   
“Yeah the Commander and I go way back,” Varric paused, “You can read about it in my book.” Varric winked at her.   
“I think he hates me,” Adria admitted.  
“Cullen has that affect on people,” Varric laughed, “But he should really be the last one to judge someone based on their history.”  
“What is that supposed to mean?”

The tavern door burst open. The cold air rushing in as a group of soldiers ran into the tavern. 

—

Adria’s eyes met Cullen’s across the tavern. He felt heat well inside of him.   
_Push it out._ He thought. _Push the sinful thoughts away._  
He turned his body away from her as coldly as he could muster. Perhaps if she thought he hated her, she would treat him with disdain and leave. Then he could finally push her out of his mind for good.  
“You are wrong to be angry with her,” Cassandra stated.   
“She was supposed to kill me and she lied to us,” Cullen flatly retorted.  
“Yes, and today she saved us all,” Cassandra pointed out, “After she has spent months helping us, the refugees, the mages. She didn’t have to do any of this.”  
“But she was pretending to be someone else,” Cullen retorted.   
“What choice did she have? Tell us she was at the Conclave as a pawn in a plot to kill the Justina? We would have killed her without a moment’s thought.”  
Cullen looked down at his drink pensively, “Can we trust her now that we know what she has done?”   
“You have moments of your own history you are not proud of and here you are trying to change. You are an ex-templar are you not? If we cannot believe she can change, then there is no hope for any of us to be different from our pasts,” Cassandra preached, “The Maker has forgiven us if we ask him. But we must choose to forgive ourselves.”  
“We have to believe we can be better,” Cullen admitted, “I should apologize.”  
“Yes you should,” Cassandra smiled, “I’d like Adria to stick around for a while after this. She has something that can further us.”

The tavern door burst open. The cold air rushing in as a group of soldiers ran into the tavern. 

The celebrating would need to wait. Haven was under attack. 

  
—   
The chantry was filled with the remnants of townsfolk from Haven. The battle was lost. There wasn’t any way to move forward. 

“If he only wants me, then it only makes sense for me to go,” Adria stated, “I’ll bury Haven if I have to."

“You don’t have to do this. We can find another way,” Cullen commanded.

“No, Commander,” Adria firmly pressed, “There isn’t any other way. See that the people are safe.”

She walked towards the Chantry doors. Ready for what may come.

“Adria…” Cullen’s voice followed her. She paused. He had never used her real name before. She felt the longing grow within her. She tried to push it aside. There wasn’t time for this now.  
“Adria,” his hand fell on her shoulder. She turned to face him. There was a level of softness in his eyes, concern etched in his face. 

“Andraste guide you Cullen.” And she stepped out of the Chantry ready to face death.

— 

The snow whirled around her, the icy wind whipping her hair. She had buried Haven, by chance fallen into some cave or shaft and now was walking aimlessly in the snow. It was too late. They were gone. 

_And here I thought I’d die in an old man’s bed at some point._

Her legs gave out and she collapsed onto her knees in the snow.

_At least, I managed to do something right._

The darkness crept in. She slumped down. The snow encroaching around her.  
—

Cullen wasn’t sure why he kept looking for Adria. He had been out four times. It didn’t make sense. There was something about her admission in the morning that tugged at his heart. He kept wondering how it could have been different. Had he been right to judge her so harshly. Now that she was gone, it felt like he had done something wrong. Let something slip away. He paced back and forth through the camp.

  
“Cullen, your pacing is making everyone anxious,” Josephine quipped at him.  
“Go for another ride,” Cassandra suggested, “At the minimum it will give everyone a break from your pacing."

  
Cullen resigned and walked over to his horse. Patting it’s side and rubbing its face.   
“One more ride,” He pleaded with the horse, “Then we will need to give up.” The mare rubbed its head on his shoulder affectionately. He climbed on top.  
Cullen rode through the snow. He could barely see a thing. He pushed closer to Haven than he had the previous times.   
He made to turn back when the wind caught something blue. A piece of fabric in the waving on top of the snow.  
 _Could it be?_  
He jumped off his horse and dug into the snow with his hands. Just under a small layer of snow, he felt ice cold skin. He recognized the jaw, the lips, the frozen hair.   
“Adria,” he breathed out sharply and finished removing the snow from her. He could see her chest moving up and down ever so slightly - slowly - too slow.   
He pulled his mantle off and put it around her, gathering her up in his arms. She was ice cold.   
“It’s okay now. It’ll be okay,” He said as he lifted her on to the horse. Putting her in front of him so he could continue to hold her close. He pushed the hair out of her face and tried to use the warmth of his hands to warm her face. He saw her eyelids flutter.  
“You’ll be okay,” he said out loud as much trying to convince himself as he was her. “You are safe now. I got you.”  
They rode back to camp. The wind and snow cutting into them.

—

The mages and healers had seen to her. She was warm, her skin repaired from the frost damage but she still wasn’t waking up. Varric and Dorian sat at her bedside. The silence between them speaking volumes. Cullen walked into the tent.

“How is she?” He asked. The healers had put his mantle over her blankets. An extra layer to keep the heat in. She looked peaceful, laying there. He felt a level of possession growing deep inside himself. She looked perfect in his mantle.

“She will live,” Dorian finally said, “Thanks to you.”

“I didn’t think you had that in you, Curly,” Varric admitted, “We should get you back your mantle or you’ll get cold.” Varric went to pull the mantle off Adria but he felt resistance. Adria’s hand wrapped around the edge of the mantle, pulling it up to her face. She turned to her side in her sleep. 

“I guess you might need to get it later,” Varric chuckled. Cullen felt a strange sense of pride bubbling up inside.

“Now that you're here, I should get something to eat,” Dorian stood up to leave, “Varric?” Varric stood up to join him. They walked to the flap of the tent.

“Cullen, we don’t always see eye to eye,” Varric started, “But she is a good soul. Thanks for going back to get her,”

“It was the right thing to do,” he said quietly.

“And I’ll believe that’s the _only_ reason you went back for her when nug’s fly.” Varric closed the tent behind him.

Cullen sat down beside the bed. Adria looked so peaceful, so quiet. Her lips softly parted and he felt his heart jump. He pushed the hair out of her face, it was a mess. No one had seen to it in all the commotion. He brushed his fingers through her hair. He hadn’t tried to help anyone with their hair since he was a child and Mia insisted he help her. He tried to brush out the knots with his fingers, slowly working out the kinks. His hands came close to her scalp and she let out a soft moan in her sleep.

He felt heat build inside. _Maker’s breath, get a hold of yourself._ He scolded his mind for wandering.

He plaited her hair into a long braid and laid it down beside her face, his fingers travelling up her jaw as he slowly pulled away. It wasn’t a very good job but it was the best he could do. Her face responded to his hands. As his hand pulled away, she snuggled further into the blankets and his mantle. It was adorable.

“Adria,” he whispered into the cold air of the tent, “I wish I had been different too.” He got up and left the tent. 

—

Adria rolled over and breathed in the smell of elderflower and oakmoss - it smelled safe and comfortable. She could feel a heavy warmth on top of her. She opened her eyes to the roof of a canvas tent. 

_So I didn’t die in the snow or maybe this is what death is like._

She pushed herself up, the blankets folding over and - is that Cullen’s mantle? She was confused and cold, she pulled it around her shoulders. She slipped her feet to the ground, the snow crunched between her toes. She wrapped the mantle around her body. She was only wearing light cotton sleeping clothes so the air felt chilly all around her. She opened the tent door.

A fire was lit in front of her tent, Leliana, Josephine, Cullen, Cassandra, Varric and Dorian sat around the fire. They stopped talking as she opened the tent door - as in shock or disbelief.

“Hi,” she croaked.

Cullen’s eyes travelled up her body, wrapped in his mantle. It was almost too much for him to see her standing in sleeping clothes, wrapped in his mantle. He reached her face and noticed a bit of airiness, a bit of confusion. He had seen this before from some soldiers post battle. Her mind had been rattled. He moved quickly to be next to her.

“I feel a bit…” Adria started as her legs buckled beneath her. Her vision getting cloudy.

“Easy there,” Cullen said softly. His one arm finding her waist and supporting her as she stood back up.

“How did you move so fast,” she looked around and noticed everything seemed blurry, “How are you all moving so fast?”

“Ah… that’s not a good sign,” Leliana stated.

“I am going to lift you up and put you back in bed Adria, okay?” Cullen calmly reassured her, “Everything will be okay. You just shouldn’t be walking around yet.”  
She nodded. She felt Cullen’s arms reach under her, sweeping her off her feet. He held her close as her brought her back to bed and placed her into the bed. Pulling the blankets over her and putting the mantle back on top.

She looked up at him, a bit loopy.

“Everything will be okay, Adria,” he patted her hand, “You are safe now.”

She smiled at him and grabbed at his hand. He could see she was slowly drifting back to sleep.

In a dream like voice, she whispered, “I know. You're here.”

He felt his chest tighten. His eyes travelled up to her face. She was asleep. He tucked her hand under the covers and sat down beside the bed.

 _Maker what have I gotten myself into this time._ He thought to himself as he watched Adria sleep. 

He stepped out of the tent and walked back to the fire.

“Well, that was too much excitement for today,” Varric smiled up at him.

Cullen sat down in front of the fire. “I’m just glad she woke up. That is a good sign.”

“I have seen soldiers like this after they have been knocked in the head in battle. She will need a lot of rest but she should be okay,” Cassandra instructed the group. The group nodded.

“Hey Varric,” Dorian started, “Was her hair like that when we were in there?”

“No, I remember it being kind of wild.”

Cullen felt everyone’s eyes turn to him. His cheeks slowly turning red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skyhold adventures and stories to follow! Yay!


	4. Chapter 4

“So…it’s Inquistor now. Sounds fancy,” Varric jested.

The tavern bustled with activity. It had been one of the first buildings set up in Skyhold. Everyone was happy to be in relative safety and warmth. Skyhold felt like a castle from a fairytale. It was there just in time to save them. 

Adria sat a corner booth with Varric and Dorian. They didn’t seem offset by her new title.

“I’m just as surprised as you,” She smiled and took sip of her ale. 

“Well it would have been rude of them to ask someone else after your whole self sacrifice deal,” Dorian smirked.

“Josephine really impressed me with the clever way she has weaved your history into a fanciful tale for the nobles. They will think you are some kind of modern fairy tale hero now. You know how they eat up the whole rags to riches shit,” Varric laughed.

“I just assumed the advisors, that they would get hung up on my past. That they wouldn’t want anything to do with me after Haven,” Adria admitted.

The three of them sat in silence for a moment.

“Look around you, Adria,” Varric started, “You think anyone is here because they had a nice past? That they are proud of all the things they have done? No, we have all made our beds. None of the people around you are here because things turned out perfectly for them. They are here because they think they can be better. They think they can do something differently”

Dorian nodded, “Your life choices were of necessity. You barely even had a choice.” 

Adria looked around at the tavern and thought about the choices of those around her.Her eyes fell on Sera, Cole, Blackwall, Vivienne, Iron Bull and finally on Dorian and Varric. Their words felt true. They felt real.

“Now that we have felt all this adrenaline, would a simple farm life be enough?” She smirked at the two men.

Varric laughed, “I’m not sure but a simple life might be nice after all this commotion. I think I’ve lived enough adventures for three lives.” 

—

It had been a few weeks since they arrived at Skyhold. Adria heard the stories of how Cullen had saved her in the snow. She couldn’t remember anything between falling in the snow and arriving at Skyhold. She had seen Cullen at the War Room and he had seemed stiff and somewhat distant. She hadn’t had a moment to thank him for saving her life. 

She found the Commander walking around the battlements, inspecting the walls, looking for areas they might need to rebuild or improve. 

“May I walk with you Commander?”

“Yes. You may Inquisitor.” He was formal and stiff with her. They walked for a while making notes of areas to fix, discussing possible guard rotations and eventually they had done a loop.   
  
Adria leaned against the wall, looking out. Cullen went to leave down the stairs assuming this meant he was dismissed. 

“Thank you for saving my life, Commander.”

He paused and turned around. She looked magnificent leaning against the walls. He hair was billowing in the wind. It was always loose. The sun hit her face and made her skin look warm and inviting. Her eyes sparkling in the light. Her gaze was focussed on him.

He leaned against the wall beside her. Far enough away to be proper but close enough that he could swear the air between their sides was buzzing. 

He opened his mouth to reply and she turned and stopped him speaking in a Fereldan accent.

“Please don’t say you would do it again. Men have always tried to save me. It usually gets them in trouble or killed. I am appreciative of your actions but you are important. The inquisition needs you and you could have died.”

“I understand.” He said stiffly. "You really don't remember it?"

"I remember falling in the snow and then I remember a day or two before we got here. Why? Was there something I should have remembered?"

His heart ached as he thought about her in his mantle and her admission of safety in her concussed state. He felt awkward that he could remember all of that and she didn't remember a single thing. 

He shook his head. She started to talk about Skyhold and the renovations that needed to be done. She slipped into an Orlesian accent. 

“I don’t like when you change your accent like that.”

“How would you prefer I talk to you?”

“How do you speak normally?”

“I don’t know.” She paused. “I guess something like this?” Her voice relaxed. It sounded like someone who grew up on the border close to Fereldan or Orlais.

“Then speak like that. It sounds more natural. Where did you grow up?”

“Fereldan, Orlais, Antiva, boats. Wherever I was that month.”

“But where are your parents from?”

“I don’t know. I have never met them. The Architect and my guild were the closest I had to family.”

“Since when?”

“My third or fourth summer. I am not sure.”

Silence filled the space between them. Cullen didn’t know what to say. He had gone to the Order at a young age but he had known his parents, known their love and still had his siblings. It had been his choice. He opened his mouth to talk.

“Don’t say you are sorry. It’s not your fault. It was better than being dead. They kept me safe. Fed me. Taught me to steal and later taught me to kill. Along with any other skills I needed.” She laughed. “That’s enough about me. Tell me about yourself Commander, where are you from?”

He said he was from Fereldan.

“Your family - are they still there?”

“You don’t need to hide it. I asked about your family and where you are from.” She looked out into the distance, “Not everyone needs a family sob story.”

He told her about his parents and the blight and mentioned his siblings. He relaxed against the wall as he spoke of the farm he grew up on. His eyes shining as he thought of simpler times. Adria watched his face soften, his expression growing clam. 

“I am glad you have them. It is good to have people who care about you.”

She turned away from the outer wall. She reached out and touched his arm.

“Thank you Commander. For distracting me for a little.” She dropped her hand and walked away. Cullen couldn’t help but look as she walked away. That perfect swish of her hips and movement in her hair. Her figure always enticing him to follow. 

— 

Walking the battlements with Cullen became part of her routine when she was in Skyhold. 

They finished the loop of the defences and leaned against the walls, looking out into the mountains. 

“It’s beautiful here,” Adria sighed. Her breath turning to mist in the brisk night air.Cullen’s eyes outlined her face, her silhouette in the moonlight. 

“Do you need a new bed?” She asked somewhat out of the blue.

“What, why would you ask that?” Cullen defensively spat out.

“Sometimes you seem tired, like you haven’t slept well. You furrow your brow more and don’t want to discuss the options with the others as much. I assumed maybe your bed wasn’t to your liking.” She pointed out.

“No,” Cullen breathed in, “I have other things that keep me awake at night.”

“I understand,” She whispered into the night lowering her head, “Sometimes I think about everyone who I deceived, the people who died. I wonder if it was the right thing to do.”

“Did you have a choice?” 

“I have to believe we always have a choice,” she said hopefully.

—

The morning had been long. There were many reports to get to before the Inquisitor left for a few days. Josephine, Cassandra and Leliana excused themselves for lunch. Adria made to do the same. 

“I was wondering if you would join me for a game of chess, Inquisitor,” Cullen shifted on his feet nervously.

“I don’t play chess anymore, Commander,” Adria glanced solemnly up at Cullen. Their eyes meeting for moment. A hint of mischief in hers. 

“Anymore?” He pried desperate to keep the conversation going.

“Well once you’ve had to stick a queen playing piece inside you, the game becomes much less enjoyable,” She smirked.

Cullen could feel his face turning red.  “I..I…I…,” he started.

“One of my marks loved chess and wasn’t very interested in me. I spent months studying chess strategy and going to Orlesian matches so I could get his attention. And to finally get him alone, I had to do this whole teasing routine with the king and queen pieces. It was frankly a lot of work just to steal a man’s trade documents. I was on that job for three months,” she admitted. 

Cullen could feel the blood rushing to his face and to his crotch. 

“That is an…uhhh… interesting story.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck. He paused, silence floating between them.

“I’m sorry. Maybe that was a little too much information,” she laughed lightly. Cullen felt his heart jump. Her laugh sounded light and free. 

“I should get going,” he admitted and made to leave the room. His head lowered and hopes diminishing. 

“Perhaps you could join me for dinner tomorrow instead?” Her words quickly spilled out. 

“That sounds nice,” Cullen breathed out, “I will see you then.” 

— 

Cullen and Dorian sat in the garden playing a game of chess. He had started to play with the mage a few weeks ago after he learned that the mage also knew how to play. It was a good break in the day and a way to clear his mind.

He studied the board. Dorian had put him in a precarious position. He rested his hand on the queen. 

As he looked down at the piece, he thought of Adria’s early admission about the game. His mind wandered to her dragging the king over her nipples, encircling them with the top of the piece. The queen teasing at her opening. 

“Cullen?” Dorian interrupted the day dream, “Are you going to play or just stare at the Queen all day?” 

Cullen cleared his throat and moved the Queen forward. 

— 

Cullen tossed in his bed. His headache building along with the tension in his muscles. His mouth feeling dry and raw. Sleep would evade him. He rolled out of bed thinking that warm water would at least ease the tension in his muscles. He grabbed his affects and walked towards the bathhouse.

The baths at Skyhold had been built over two hot pools, a sulphur stream leaked into them at one end and back into the rock at another. The building was constantly filled with steam and this late in the night, it was pitch black. Cullen lit a candle and placed it beside a pool of water. He stripped off his shirt and started to undo his pants.

“Commander?” A feminine voice travelled across the baths. Cullen froze, his hands on his ties of his breeches.

“Hello?” He said back into the dark mist.

He saw her slowly come out of the mist. Adria’s hands found the side of the pool and she looked up at him. He could see her bare shoulders and the top of her breasts just above the surface of the water.The rest of her obscured in the water below. Wet hair plastered to her head and fanning out beside her. 

He cleared his throat, “I can come back later.” He went to grab his shirt.

“Don’t be silly. There is lots of room in here for both of us,” She moved to the other side of the pool. “I can even avert my eyes if you are shy.” She giggled.

He felt the heat building in his face. “That would be appreciated.” She made a show of putting her hands over her eyes and turning away. 

He stripped down and slid into the water.“I am decent now,” he stated.

Adria put her hands down in the water and looked up at the Commander. His shoulders peeking above the water. His hair unkept and spilling out as golden curls over his head and eyes. Eyes fixated on her.

“Trouble sleeping?” He started. 

“It’s difficult to forget sometimes,” She admitted drawing her knees towards her chest. The tops of her knees poked out of the water. Cullen eyes immediately traced them. It felt like a strangely intimate part of someone to see.

“Yes, it is difficult.” He rubbed a hand along the back of his next and started to massage his neck and shoulders.

“Do you want me to help?” She suggested, “I could do that for you?”

“I…” he lightly blushed, “I would like that.”

She moved towards his side of the pool sitting beside him on the bench. He turned so that his back was facing her.

She ran her hands along his back slowing massaging his shoulders and neck examining the scars under her hands. His back was well defined and muscular. Shoulder blades jutting out. She thought about being under him and grabbing on to them. She felt heat building inside her. A tingling between her legs. She refocussed on his neck applying pressure to the knots.

He let out a low growl. She felt him stiffen. 

“Did that hurt?” She asked.

“No,” he whispered, “That was nice. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

She giggled and went back to his back working the muscles with her hands.

Her hands felt amazing on him. Her touch sent jolts of electricity down his spine. He never wanted her to stop. He could feel blood rushing into his member. An erection slowly building. He felt thankful for the darkness hiding his sin.

“How did you learn to do that?” He asked.

“Well they teach you all kinds of tricks when your job is to seduce people.”

“Oh, I guess. I sort of assumed it just came naturally.”

She laughed darkly, “No, not at all. They just take a young girl they think looks pretty and make her practice many many times until she can do it perfectly. I practiced everything on whoever was available until I could make it natural.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“I didn’t think it was at the time. I wanted to contribute. I wanted to take care of my crew and I wanted Ashton to approve of me - to tell me I did a good job.”

“Ashton?”

“He was our Architect. The closest thing I had to a father I guess -if your father taught you to suck a man’s penis and pickpocket strangers.”

“I don’t think that’s how father’s are supposed to act.”

She laughed and continued working his muscles for a few more minutes.

She patted his shoulder lightly and her felt her move away from him slightly. She sat back down about three paces away. 

“Thank you,” he smiled over at her. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She opened, “The reason you can’t sleep.”

“It’s not important,” he met her eyes. The candlelight casting shadows on her face making her features look more dramatic.

“It’s important if my Commander can’t sleep,” She pushed.

“You can call me Cullen.”

“Only if you call me Adria.” She smiled sweetly at him.

_Maker’s breath. The smile hurt._ He wanted to take her face in his hands. Kiss her and then slide her warmth over his. It was hurting how much he wanted her right now. 

“Why are you awake, Adria?” 

“Tonight - tonight, it’s because I miss them. I miss them and they are all dead.” She admitted.

“Your crew?” He asked

“Yes.”

“Tell me about them.”

“Charlotte was full of light and happiness. She could make anyone smile and always did with the smallest, most thoughtful gestures and gifts. She taught me that money was best spent on others. That the greatest satisfaction was in giving love to others. She was beautiful. When we would go to a town or village, men would always be trying to help her. She was the perfect damsel in distress. You would have liked her.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He pretended to be offended. 

“Don’t worry. Everyone liked her. That was her job.” She laughed.  “Wedge was the youngest among us. He was a sneak, a stealth assassin. He could get anywhere without being seen like a little mouse. We took care of him. Charlotte always told me that he was in love with me but I always thought of him like a little brother. He was sweet and needed our protection from Ashton. Ashton was always angry with him.” She paused as if remembering a specific story.  “Then there was Damien. He was such a pompous ass,” her eyes smiled. “Damien could pretend to be anyone. He was a master at languages and accents. The quickest to pick up on a backstory. He was a master at playing nobles. For all his pomp, he always made sure we had food and a place to sleep - often by pretending to be someone important or lying about paying in the morning. He cared for us in his own way. Lastly, there was Carver.  Carver was stoic. He had left the Order during the Blight. He didn’t want to be a templar anymore but the call of lyrium was too much. Ashton found him in an alley, crying for lyrium. He hadn’t had it for a month. He got his lyrium and every time he left. He came back - headaches, chills, fevers, nightmares - he needed it and that kept him involved with us.” 

She looked over at Cullen. Silence filling in the blanks between them. 

“You know, don’t you?” He asked quietly.

“I guessed,” she admitted, “how long has it been?”

“Six months.”

“Wow. That is impressive. It must be so hard.”

His posture and tone of voice changed, “I’ve instructed Cassandra to remove me if it’s a problem.”

“You are strong. It won’t be a problem.” She reached out as if to touch his shoulder and retreated, drawing her hand back to her side.

“I should try to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day. We are heading out the day after so lots of prep to do.” She pulled herself out of the pool.

Cullen’s eyes traced the outline of her body as she came out of the water. The candlelight showing glimpses of her skin and silhouette. His erection growing tighter under the water. 

She wrapped herself in a towel and then looked back over her shoulder. Her eyes meeting his. He saw mischief in them. She had guessed he would watch her.

“Goodnight Cullen.” Her eyes trailed down into the water,“It looks like you need another kind of massage before you can sleep.” A smirk played across her lips and she walked out of the bath house. 

—

Dinner had been pleasant.They talked about the men, the training, what he thought the next steps were, the planning for her next expedition beginning tomorrow. They ended their meal and started to walk towards the keep. The torchlight from the towers casting long shadows on them, accentuating their features.

Maker. She looked incredible. The dimmed light just made her look even more desirable. Like a secret lover by candlelight. He tried to push the sinful thoughts from his mind. 

“Would you like to go for a walk?” She suggested eagerly looking up at him.

“I would like the very much.”

They walked along the battlements eventually reaching the usual spot they stopped to talk. She leaned against the wall. 

“If this was all over, what would you do?” She asked him.She dared him to dream of the future. It felt good.

“I think I might like to get a dog again.” He admitted.

She laughed. “That’s all?”

“Well I haven’t really thought too much about it. I didn’t think I would be here. I never knew I would meet you.”

“And why is that important?”

“You make me believe that this will end one day.” She noticed he was standing much closer to her. So close that the side of their hips were touching. How many times had they stood like this? She wasn’t even sure. Her hand was on the wall. He had placed his right next to hers. A hair width apart. The move of a man who wanted to do more. Wanted to be closer. She knew this act. 

She looked over at him and their eyes met. She had seen desire in lots of men before. She knew what to look over. Staring into Cullen’s amber eyes. She could see something else. Something that felt soft, wanting. She didn’t know what to do with this. She could also see the desire, burning slightly. She could hear it in his breath. 

His hand grazed her hand on the wall. She leaned in to him slightly so he could feel the weight of her body on his. She looked up at him. He was already looking down at her. His hand found her face and pushed her chin up slightly, his lips meeting hers softly. 

She blushed and turned away.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long - longer than I should admit to,” Cullen whispered and shook his head.  She looked up at him to see a blush forming on his cheeks. “I’m sorry if that wasn’t -“

She cut him off by pushing her mouth into his. Her hands pulling his to her hips and then travelling up his back. He kissed her back aggressively. His lips parting hers. His tongue pushing into her mouth. He hungrily kissed her mouth as he pushed her against the cold stone of the walls his hands travelling down to her ass and tightly gripping it, pushing her body against his. She could feel his erection growing against her leg. He kissed down her neck and pushed her shirt back starting to softly graze his lips against her collarbone. She let out a low moan.

“Cullen,” she whispered into his ear, her breath quickened already, “I don’t know how to do this.”

He paused and looked her in the eyes. She looked panicked, concerned.

“What is it?” He said softly. His hand brushing her cheek. 

“I’ve never done this before,” she admitted.

“I was under the impression you’d done this plenty of times,” he softly chuckled.

“Yes, well, I’ve had sex plenty of times as you put it,” her voice lowered to the point where he could barely hear it, “But it’s never been something I wanted.” She paused, “It’s never been with someone I wanted.” 

He cupped her face in his hands. 

“We don’t need to do this.”

“But -“

“No, I want you to be comfortable and happy. I never want you to do something you don’t want to.” She was silent and looked down at the ground.

“Do you not want me?”

“Maker, Adria, I want you so bad it hurts sometimes,” he ran a hand through his hair, “But if you don’t want this, then we stop.” He stepped away from her and leaned against the wall. “If you want to be with me, that’s amazing but if you just want to be friends, that’s okay too. If you want to just be business then we can be just the Commander and the Inquisitor. I am an addict. A failed templar and a broken man. I can understand if you don’t want anything to do with that.” 

He felt her leaning against him again. She took both of his hands in hers. 

“I think I would like to be slightly more than business," She smiled up at him,  “I just don’t know how to do this for anything other than business."

He looked down at her and wrapped his hand around her waist. He leaned over and softly kissed the top of her head.

“Then we can learn together."


	5. Chapter 5

Adria awoke in her quarters. She happily rolled in her bed. It had been six weeks since she had been in a real bed. It felt luxurious and so soft. They had arrived back to Skyhold in the middle of the night. Few had seen them but news always traveled fast here.

  
She had thought about Cullen frequently during her travels. She felt nervous. What if he felt like the kiss was a mistake? What if he changed his mind and found someone new in that time?

She bathed and fussed with her hair, trying to pick the right outfit. They would expect her in war room shortly. 

—

Josephine, Cassandra and Leliana were already deep in conversation when she arrived.

“Nice of you to join us,” Leliana teased, “Now we can get started.”

“Should we wait for Cullen?” Adria inquired. 

“He is under the weather today,” Cassandra filled in, “Plus, I am sure he would not be interested in today’s discussions.”

Adria tilted her head in confusion.

“Grand Duke Gaspard has invited us as his guest to the Winter Palace. We are going to a ball!” Josephine exclaimed.

“…To stop the assassination of Empress Celine,” Cassandra finished. 

“Yes, of course,” Josephine put down a book full of sketches, “You, Inquisitor, will be our jewel.” She pointed to the variety of sketches of outfits and gowns.

“I don’t know about this,” Adria slowly back away from the table, “I have been to many Orlesian functions before. I might be recognized.”

“That’s okay. They know you used to spy,” Josephine started, “They just don’t really know that you’ve killed any of the nobility. So it’s best we keep it that way.”

“So being a spy is okay? As long as I didn’t kill their husbands?”

“Yes, yes it’s perfect,” Josephine clasped her hands together and Leliana peered over her shoulder.

“But what of the shoes?” Leliana asked.

“I think I should go,” Adria started backing towards the door.

“Okay but tomorrow I have someone coming to measure you. You need to be in perfect fashion for the court.”Josephine shouted after her.

Adria closed the door behind and leaned against the wall. A ball, full of people she had deceived in the past, that was going to go well.

She traveled into the courtyard. 

\--

Rylen was running drills with the recruits.

“Captain,” Adria shouted to him.

“Inquisitor,” he acknowledged, “Would you like to join in?”

“Not today,” She smiled, “I was wondering where Commander Cullen is today.” 

She saw a flash of knowing in Rylen’s eyes. “He is sick in bed and has asked not to be disturbed.”

“Thank you Captain.”

—

Adria gathered a tray from the kitchen and softly knocked on Cullen’s door.

“Who is it?” She heard shouted from inside.

“Adria,” she shouted back through the door.

She heard some groaning and creaking floorboards. The click of the lock and the door opened just a little.

“I am not well,” Cullen face just slightly visible through the small crack he had opened the door.

“I know. I’ve brought you some food,” She showed him the tray as proof. “Can I, at least, bring the tray in?”

He opened the door so she could come in and immediately went up a ladder. 

Adria hadn’t noticed the ladder before but she smirked.

“You couldn’t sleep somewhere with stairs,”

She climbed up after him with the tray. The loft was small with a mattress on the floor and small nightstand. A large hole in the ceiling.

“Or a complete roof?”

Cullen sat on the edge of the bed. His head in his hands. He had on simple cotton trousers and no shirt. 

“You shouldn’t see me like this.” He said flatly.

“Why is that?”

“You deserve better.”

“Is that your way of saying you missed me or that you’d like me to leave?”

“I…” Cullen paused, “I did miss you.”

“Get back into bed.”

Cullen nodded and climbed under the sheets.  Heavy bags rimmed his eyes. His skin looked waxy. He looked exhausted. She noticed the twitching of his hands. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” 

“There is pain. It shoots down my arms to my hands, down my legs to my feet,” he explained, “And when I sleep…well it’s impossible to sleep.”

She sat down on his bed careful to not be too close. It felt incredibly odd to be sitting on a man’s bed and not be here to seduce and kill him.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll sit with you.”

“No need to fuss over me. I know you have many things to do.”

“None of them are as important as making sure you feel okay.” She grabbed his hand. “I can stay here for a few hours at least.”

Despite the headaches and pain, he felt comforted. She wanted to stay with him despite his troubles. 

“What can I do to help?”

“Talk to me about something. Tell me a story. It might help distract my mind”

She racked her brain for a happy memory and remembered a summer day that happened in her 18th year. 

“We didn’t have any jobs lined up so we didn’t need to study marks or practice. It was one of those perfect summer days when it’s too hot to do too much. We all had a bit of money from our last job so we pooled it together and bought this cheese and wine and bread that we thought was fancy - in hindsight it was pretty mediocre - but we thought it was top of the line. We were nearby the coast so we headed to the beach. There weren’t too many people there and we spent the whole day sun-bathing and eating and drinking. At one point we were all quite drunk and Carver suggested we all go for a dip in the ocean water. It was a lot of fun,” Her face grew animated and her eyes were full of nostalgia, “The waves came up and swept my panties right off and as they wave pulled back, they slipped by Carver and he grabbed them and ran on to the shore. I ran after him and he and Wedge made it a game. I must have run around without any underclothes for at least 10 minutes before Wedge tripped and I was able to catch up to him. It was a very silly day.”

“Maker that’s a site to consider.” Her story had made Cullen turn bright red as he thought about her running around the lake half naked.

She laughed. “I was so used to everyone seeing me naked by then. It didn’t feel like anything different.”

She looked at her hand in his and started tracing it with her other hand. Outlining the fingers and flipping it over so that his palm was facing up, she traced the lines in his palm, the callous, brushed the finger tips. 

“That feels nice” Cullen smiled at her. She brushed her lips along his fingertips. 

She continued another story about how they tricked nobles into paying their entire bill at an Orlesian tavern and how they had tried to go back go the tavern the next day and had been turned away. It was a trick that could only be played so many times it seemed. Cullen could see her doing that - turning up her charm and getting the bill covered before the nobles realized they had been duped. 

It started to get dark out and even the hole in the ceiling wasn’t letting enough light in. She got up and lit a few candles. 

“Did you want to sleep?” She asked Cullen.

“I wish I could sleep,” he sighed, “You can go if you need to.”

“I don’t need to be anywhere.” She sat back down on the the bed, removing her boots and stretching her legs out beside him. 

The pain started to reside and Cullen ate the food she brought. As she told more tales of happy times and silly plots. 

The candles burned low.

“And that’s how Damien got us all into the fanciest party in Antiva,” She yawned.

“Damien sounded like quiet the character,” Cullen smiled. Silence met him back.

“Adria?” He whispered.

He looked at her face. She had fallen asleep sitting up against the wall. He placed his arms under her body and shifted her down on to the mattress.

He laid down beside her and smiled before he fell into a dreamless sleep. 

—

Adria felt the sun hit her face as she woke up. She felt warm and safe and comfortable. An arm was draped over her, a body snuggled up behind her. 

Her mind hit panic. Had she fallen asleep with a mark? Why was she in her clothes? Okay be cool. Just turn to face them, make it sweet. You can get out of this.

She turned around. It was Cullen. Last night’s activities came back to her. She must have fallen asleep as they chatted.He was still asleep. She relaxed a little. It didn’t feel bad to be this close, see his face up close, feel the warmth of his body. He was asleep. Her clothes were on. No harm could be done.

She watched him sleep for a little, facing him. Seeing how peaceful he was after a long and stressful day. She never had seen him look so at peace, so quiet, so still. She could see the lines around his eyes, now smooth and at peace. The line where his brow often furrowed as he thought through something serious. She wanted to touch his face feel the contours of it on her fingers and her lips. 

She realized, she had never seen a man this close in bed that she didn’t then kill or steal from and she had never fallen asleep in someone’s bed. She always stayed awake, completed the job, made her exit. That was the way it was supposed to be. 

Cullen’s eyes opened. He saw her facing him and his face broke out into a smile.

“You stayed.” His eyes traced her face down to the side and saw how she was cuddled up to him, his arm around her. His face beaming.

“I’m sorry. I fell asleep. I can go.” She started to get up.

“You could stay? You don’t have to though.” She felt his hand grab her arm. Desperate, wanting. She met his eyes. She didn’t see the desire for sex. She saw something different, something softer - a longing. 

“Do you want me to stay for a while?”

“Only if you want to.”

She nestled back down into his arms. She was fully clothed. She would be okay. Facing him with his arm still around her waist. 

“Is this what couples do together? Cuddle in the morning?”

His heart jumped into his throat. _Did she think they were a couple? Did she want to be?_

“Yes. Among other things.” He let his hand trail down her side and her hip. He traced it back up along her side finally resting on her waist. 

“Is this alright? Can I do this?” He asked.

“Yes.” She said “It feels nice.”

She paused looking into his eyes

“No one has ever asked if they can do something to me before.” She closed her eyes for a moment “They always assumed they just could.”

“I will never assume that. You can always tell me when to stop or ask me to start. Tell me if you don’t want something. Even if it’s small”

He traced the outside of her face, her eyebrows, drawing a line down her nose, her jaws, her lips. She felt his fingers on her face. It sent tingles up and down her spine. She felt a warmth building inside her. Her body wanted to be touched. She didn’t understand it. These were the feelings she had been taught to fake. The things she had beentaught how to do to convince men she wanted them. They didn’t feel fake right now.

“Can I touch your face?” She asked.

“Please.” He whispered.

She traced his face outlining his cheek bones, his jaws, his scar, and finally - she hesitated - his lips. Her fingers were soft and hesitant. He wanted to feel her hands on him for so long. He longed to be within her grasp. So much that this slight action made his smalls feel tighter. He hoped she didn’t notice.

“Oh” She looked down and withdrew from him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I…”

“No. Stop. We don’t have to do anything more than this. We can stop right now if you want.” He took his hands in hers. Feeling ashamed and bashful that his body had betrayed the moment. “This can be it. My hands in yours. This can be it for as long as you want.” 

She looked him in the eyes and then her hands traveled down his sheets to where it tented. 

“I can’t always control that reaction” He took a hand and rubbed the back of his neck. “But we don’t need to act on it.”

His responses felt earnest. They felt true. They felt like he meant it or at least thought he meant it.

“You mean that? You would be happy just holding my hands?” 

“I just want to be around you. To be near you. If I get to hold your hands, that is a delight added on top of that”

She looked up at him meekly through her eyelashes. No one had ever just wanted to hold her hands. A touch meant sex. It meant the other person needed a release. This felt different. It felt comfortable. Maybe even safe.

She reached up to touch his face. Her fingers finding his lips again. Tracing them slowly. He let out a small moan.

“Would you like to kiss me again?”

“Yes” he whispered. He grabbed her cheek in his hand and tilted her face upwards. Moving in slowly. He noticed she had closed her eyes. Her lips slightly parted. He inched forward ever so slightly and he could feel his lips starting to graze hers. She pushed her lips into his. He pushed back. He felt her leg wrap around his hip and she pulled him closer, the fronts of their bodies touching. Her hand pushed on his shoulder and he shifted to be on his back wrapping his hands around her ass and pulling her on top of him. He groaned as he felt her weight on top of him. She was still fully clothed but he wanted to peel every layer off. She ran her hands along his chest and bent forward to kiss his lips. Her hair and body pushing against his. His hands started to pull at the edge of her tunic, inching it upwards over her head. 

“Uhhh…Commander?” A voice came from down the ladder. He paused and put his finger to Adria’s lips.

“Yes?” He shouted down. 

“Are you feeling better sir? You had requested that I come back today and go over any drills we might need the recruits to do” He could feel some discomfort in his voice as Rylen could tell the Commander wasn’t alone. 

“Ah yes. I’ll be right down.” He shouted. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered to Adria. “I would love to do this some other time.”

“You mean when there isn’t a soldier waiting for you below?”

He softly laughed. “Yes, that would be ideal.”

“I think I would like that too.” She whispered and softly touched his hand. “I think I should wait here for a few minutes so you can save some face.”

He kissed her softly and pulled a tunic and his breeches on. She watched him tie on his boots. 

He winked at her and went down the ladder.

“Shall we walk the battlements and discuss the plan for the day, Captain?” Cullen suggested.

Rylen paused and hesitantly looked at the loft above them. Cullen opened the door. “After you Captain.” And he closed the door behind them. 

Adria giggled and fell back into Cullen’s bed. The smell of elderflower and oakmoss encompassing her. She would have to leave eventually but maybe just a moment longer.

—

Adria opened the door to her quarters and was met by a stern looking Josephine and an older man with a measuring tape.

“There you are finally. Monsieur Pellier has been waiting for an hour. Come, come.” Josephine pulled her in front of a full length mirror.

“Inquisitor,” Monsieur Pellier said with a straight voice and went straight to work. He measured every possible angle and seam and then sat at his table and started to draw in his book.

Adria made to move to sit down.

“NO MOVING,” he snapped. She must have been standing for two hours before the tailor waved Josephine over. 

“Oh yes,” she said, “ Maybe a little more here.”

“Don’t insult me,” Monsieur Pellier snapped, “this is it.”

“if you say so, Monsieur. You are the master.”

“Yes, I am,” He snapped his drawing book shut and started to pick up his measuring tapes. “I will come back in one week and we will try it on. As long as you don’t get fat, we should be done everything in two weeks.” 

“I will make sure the Inquisitor is here and on time,” Josephine guaranteed, “And stays exactly the same weight.” 

“I can’t stay here for two weeks. There is too much to do.” 

“I only need you here at the fitting. We can make any final adjustments the night before you go to Halamshiral." 

“Can I see it?”

The tailor looked her up and down. Staring disdain down his nose. 

“It will look great.” He turned on his heel and left the room. 

— 

The plans for the Winter Palace became the main topic in the War Room. Who they should bring and what they might find there. Plans and back up plans. Discussions of possible escape routes if needed and of course, catch up on all the Orlesian gossip.

“So she is married to this Francois now?” Adria asked, “She was courted by Jesper and was sleeping with Heron.”

“Yes, but that was over a year ago,” Leliana confirmed, “And my sources think she is still sleeping with Heron. It could be useful in the right situation.”

Adria nodded. This was the type of planning she was used to. Learning all the ins and outs of who would be in the room.

“Commander,” Josephine looked up at Cullen, “You will need some dance lessons, no?”

“Oh I don’t plan on dancing,” The tips of Cullen’s ears turned pink and he rubbed a hand along the back of his neck.

“You must!” Josephine insisted, “I already have so many letters asking about your marriage status. We can use your status as a bachelor to further our cause.”

Cullen’s eyes met Adria’s across the table.

“I’m not sure I feel comfortable with that,” he admitted and looked at his feet.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Cullen,” Leliana smirked, “It will be a fun time. Josie will give you lessons after dinner for the next few days and then you’ll know enough to get by.” 

Cullen swallowed loudly and shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“Josie,” Adria jumped in to distract attention from the Commander, “Should I use a specific accent or speak a different language? How should I act? I usually went to court to seduce someone and I’m not sure that’s our goal here.”

“Au contraire, Inquisitor,” Josephine laughed, “I think your goal is to make everyone fall in love with you so some light seduction might be necessary.”

Cullen fists clenched by his sides.

“As for accent, I think I would use how you are talking now. Just enough Orlesian to be respected but just enough hints of Fereldan to make your rags to riches story sound believable. They will love you, I am sure,” Josephine instructed.

“After they see her in the dress you’ve planned, Josie, I am not even sure she’ll need to open her mouth to seduce them,” Leliana pointed out.

“So what are we thinking seduction wise?” Adria sat on the chair.

“Sexy tactician?” She pulled her hair up into a messy bun and looked over them from a book. “The position of Orlais on Tevinter politics is inherently flawed. There were three key points in the last year -“

Leliana cut her off, “No that won’t quite do.”

“Bubbly and cute then?” She let her hair flow out and put her hands under her face, her elbows on the arm of the chair and looked over at Leliana. Her eyes big and shining. “I heard there are nugs here. I do love nugs, they are so cute and small, it just makes my heart so happy. Could you show me? I’d love to hear more about them.” 

Josephine laughed, “That might be closer.”

“Okay, wilting flower maybe?” Adria’s whole face changed and she looked sad. She made a small whimpering noise and hugged her knees in close.

“Definitely not that one,” Leliana stated, “That won’t get you anywhere.”

“Okay well the only other one I’m really good at is smouldering temptress.” She stood up and slipped her butt on the war table and crossed one leg over the other, leaning back so that her neck was exposed, she looked over at Josephine. She lightly dragged her hand over Josephine’s arm. “Perhaps we could continue this conversation elsewhere?” Her eyes flashed down Josephine’s body. “I have a lot of plans we could…” her eyebrows moved up and she made eye contact with Josephine, “discuss.”

“Show us more of this one,” Leliana plied. Adria laughed. Even her laugh sound sultry and seductive.

Cullen cleared his throat. The four women looked over at him and started laughing. Cullen was beet red and visibly uncomfortable.

“No, I think that is definitely the one,” Leliana laughed, “Are you alright Cullen?”

“I think that might be a bit over the top,” he mumbled.

“Well the Orlesians have always been a bit over the top,” Cassandra stated.

Adria pushed herself back up and stood back on the ground. 

“How are the logistics for our travels to Halamshiral going, Josephine?” Adria asked and she walked over to the edge of the table beside Cullen. Josephine launched into a full report of the logistics. Adria found Cullen’s hand under the table and she lightly ran her pinky over his. He looked down at her. She was looking at Josephine, nodding along to the discussion of the logistics engaged in the discussion. She leaned forward and move a marker along the table. 

“I don’t think I won’t to use that horse, Josie. It is a bit of an ass on the best of days,” Adria said, “I’d rather take my usual horse.”

“Understood Inquisitor but your usual horse is a bit rough on the eyes,” Josephine stated.

“Won’t that help with my rag to riches image?” Adria jested.

“The whole point of that is that you live the riches part now,” Josephine corrected, “You can’t bring the sloppy horse. Maybe Dennet can get you another one?”

—

It had been three long days for Cullen. His mornings with the troops, afternoons in the war room and then dancing lessons with Josephine for the whole evening. He was exhausted and he still couldn’t dance. 

He trudged up to his office. He was not looking forward to going to the Winter Palace and he was certainly not looking forward to dancing.

He was surprised to see a light burning in his office. He opened the door cautiously. 

Adria sat in his chair, he feet up on his desk. She looked comfortable. 

“Well, haven’t you made yourself at home?” He chuckled. 

Her face lit up as he entered the room. 

“I was worried you would spend the whole evening dancing with Josephine,” She smiled and took her feet off the desk. “I wanted to see you…” she paused, “alone and I well, I brought some wine.” She pulled two bottles of wine from the floor on to his desk.

“That sounds nice.” He took off his mantle and sat on the corner of this desk facing her. She opened the bottle and poured him a glass. 

They drank in silence for a moment.

“Thank you for staying with me the other day,” he broke the silence.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” She smiled and drank from her glass. She leaned back in his chair. “Tell me about your dancing lessons.”

“There is not much to tell,” Cullen sighed and hung his head, “I step on Josephine’s toes every third or fourth step and I cannot keep the rhythm to save my life.”

“Show me?” She asked and stood up.

“I don’t know if I’ve had enough wine for that,” he laughed.

“Then have more,” She filled his glass.

“I’m sorry about the War Room today. I made you uncomfortable.”

“I just didn’t realize how many people you could be so quickly. The last one was a bit too much.”

“Oh? I was under the impression you liked it?” She teased, her eyes trailing down his body.

“I like how you are normally better,” he breathed out.

They finished the first bottle of wine and then the second. He noticed that her movements got a bit sillier, she started to giggle.

“Are you drunk?”

She got up and promptly fell into him.

“Only a little,” she smiled and kissed his nose. “I think I may have accidentally become a lightweight.” He laughed.

“Will you dance with me now?” She asked.

He pulled her to her feet and put his one hand on her waist, taking her other hand in his. She put her hand on his shoulder. 

They did a few steps around the room. 

“Ah, I see what you are doing wrong?” She slurred.

“And what is that Miss Tipsy?”

“You are trying to make it a drill you do with your soldiers. You need to feel it in here.” She dramatically pointed at his chest. She pushed her body close to his and moved his hand across the small of her back, just above her ass. She brought their other hands in close to their chests. She leaned her head into his chest and slowly rocked back and forth. Her body pressed up against him in a way that felt sweet and romantic. His chest filled with warmth. 

“Like this?” He whispered into her hair. Her hair smelled of lavender and elfroot. 

He felt her nod into his chest and she looked up to face him.

“Yes exactly like this.”

He kissed her softly. She popped her leg up. 

“You should go to sleep Adria. You are drunk.” He said sweetly. “You can sleep here if you like or I can walk you back to your quarters.”

She looked at him mischievously and bounded up the ladder. 

He shook his head and removed his armour and boots, climbing up after her.

“Oh hello Commander,” she smiled, her bare shoulders peaking out from between the sheets. He looked around at her clothes splayed all over the floor. She traced her hands over the blankets, “Would you like to join me?”

He flopped down on to the bed beside her but on top of the blankets still in his tunic and breeches. She reached out to grab his face and pull it into hers. 

“Adria, stop,” He took her hands in his and put them down on the sheets. 

She looked sad and confused, “But don’t you want me? I want to make you happy.”

“I do very much. You are drunk and you already make me happy. Are you even sure you want this?”

“I feel like I want you inside me,” she nestled down into the bed, “But my brain keeps thinking bad thoughts.”

“I understand,” he kissed her on the forehead and pulled the sheets up close to her face. 

“How do I make them stop? How do I make the nightmares stop?” She asked him.

“I’ll be here. When they come, I’ll steal them away. Okay?” He brushed the hair from her face and gently combed it with his hands.

“You did my hair before.” She closed her eyes. 

“I thought you didn’t remember?”. Her breathing slowed. She was asleep 

Cullen removed his tunic and breeches and grabbed a spare blanket from his bedside. He pulled the blanket over himself and laid down beside Adria, drifting to sleep. 

— 

“Cullen?” She whispered. He rolled over and faced her.

“Ah, if it isn’t the naked desire demon in my bed,” He smiled at her. His eyes full of mischief.

“Did we?” 

He laughed, “Oh no. You got drunk, climbed into my bed naked, asked me if I wanted you and then fell asleep.”

“Oh that sounds embarrassing.” She looked down at the blankets, “I’m sorry”

“Honestly, it was pretty adorable.” 

She turned to face him. The blankets falling into her curves. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being a good man.” She reached up and rubbed her hand along his cheek. Light stubble grazing her hand. 

Cullen’s eyes followed her hand back to the sheets. Following her jawline, her collarbone, down to the tops of her breasts. 

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He softly breathed out.

She smiled and kissed him softly.

He kissed her back softly, pushing his hand into her hair and pulling her towards him. She lightly pushed him away.

“Cullen, I have to go. Josie’s dressmaker is coming today and if I’m late again she will kill me.”

“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed but I understand.”

She kissed him softly on the mouth.

He stood up and gathered her clothes. 

“Next time, let me do the unwrapping,” He smirked. “It’s more fun for me that way.” He climbed down the ladder and started to get ready for this day.

— 

They arrived at the Winter Palace without a hitch. Their guest accommodations were spacious and grandiose. Preparations for the day underway.

Vivienne had insisted on a specific stylist for their hair and make-up but she had been right. They look put together. The rest of the inquisition was wearing a Red and Gold military style uniform but Josephine had insisted that Adria look different.  
  
Monsieur Pellier had done a good job. The dress was red and silken, flowing with Adria’s curves. The top cut had a sharp V that ended at her sternum, but the boning built into the dress pushed up and held Adria’s breasts in place. The skirt flowed out softly from the waist.

The back was open down the waist. All the right hints of skin. Adria looked like a temptress from a book. Her hair dark and sleek. Her eyes and face made up to accentuate every flicker of the light.

“Cullen will not be able to keep his eyes off you,” Leliana smirked.

“Why do you say that?” Adria asked, pretending to be confused.

“Oh, let’s just say a little bird told me you fall asleep in his office sometimes.”

“Well maybe that little bird needs to be stuffed for dinner in some time.” 

Leliana laughed and walked out of the room.

—

  
They exited their carriages and walked towards the palace.

Cullen was waiting near the entrance. His eyes met hers and they traveled down her body. She saw his pupils expand as he drank her in. It was like he couldn’t see anything or anyone else around them. She walked towards him and he held out his arm. She hooked her arm through his.

“You look spectacular,” he whispered down to her.

“You look quite handsome yourself,” she smiled. “You know, I’ll have to flirt with everyone here tonight, right?”

“I know.” He looked away from her for a moment.

“Don’t worry. Your bed is the only one I’ll drunkenly undress myself in,” a quiet teasing in her voice as they continued their conversation in low tones. 

He softly laughed. “You promised that I could do the undressing next time,” he whispered in a low growl.

“I think I can keep that promise.” She smiled up at him.

“Ah Commander,” an Orlesian accent trailed over their whispered conversation, “It seems you are escorting my date.” 

Grand Duke Gaspard stood in front of them. His hand held out to Adria.

“She is all yours Duke,” Cullen dropped his arm and nodded at Adria.

She took the Duke’s hand and made a light curtsy.

“They all said you were beautiful,” Gaspard stated, “But they surely undersold that.” She giggled and looked up at him through her eyelashes.

“You flatter me too much,” She hooked her arm through his. “It is truly an honour to be here with you. Shall we make an entrance?”

The Duke looked her up and down.

“I am sure it will be an entrance no one will forget.”

—

Cullen stood at the edge of the ballroom, constantly surrounded by women asking him pointless questions. He watched as Adria danced with yet another noble. Her red skirts flowing. Every eye constantly upon her. She was in her element. 

“I wonder if she will accept the Duke’s offer?” He heard one of the women say. His ears perked up and she looked over at him, “Do you know what she’ll say? It would be a beneficial marriage for the Inquisition.” 

“I don’t think the Inquisitor is looking to get married any time soon. She is quite busy,” He said stiffly, “I should get some air.” He excused himself and found a way to the balcony. 

His head ached and he felt fury building inside him. It was tearing at him watching Adria smile at the nobles, dance with them, play their game. But it was worse to see them constantly touching her as they danced. Gaspard coming back to dance with her time and time again. His hands constantly wandering from from decency. 

“I thought I’d never get a break,” he heard her say behind him. He turned around, his back leaning against the railing. Adria walked towards him. 

“Between the dancing and trying to look around the place a bit, this evening has been a quite the commotion,” She leaned against the railing beside him, “How are you holding up?”

“Quite terribly but I think you are the object of everyone’s attention.” She noticed the flatness in his tone. The hints of jealously peeking through the edges.

“They all think I am some prize prey to be won. The Duke the biggest hunter among them all,” She admitted, “I wouldn’t be alone with that man for a minute. Who knows what he would do?”

“Does that mean you won’t except his proposal?” Cullen pried. 

Adria laughed, “Maker’s breath, Cullen. I just met the man and I’m already repulsed,” She looked over at him, “Besides, I think I’m more into a small town Fereldan kind of man.”

“Oh?”

“Or at least, I could think of several ways a small town Fereldan man could get into me.” She smirked at him as she watched his cheeks turn pink, “I should get back. Try to have some fun.”

She turned away from him and walked back into the ballroom.

— 

The Inquisition’s carriages made their way back to their guest rooms. The night had ended dramatically with the exposure of the Grand Duchess and the life of Empress Celine saved. 

Adria was tired. She felt herself drifting to sleep. The carriage door opened and she felt strong arms pick her up. She was drowsy and the world looked misty. She smelled elderflower and oakmoss and cuddled closer to the man carrying her. He gently laid her in bed and removed her shoes. She felt a light kiss on her forehead and she reached her arms out. 

“Please stay,” She whispered to Cullen. He removed his formal wear and climbed into her bed. She curled up against him as he wrapped his arms around her.

“They were just like I remembered,” She whispered into his chest.

“I know,” he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. He felt tears starting to come from her eyes. 

“They were terrible. They touched me everywhere,” She admitted, “I don’t want to go back.”

He ran his hand through her hair, “You don’t have to go back. Tomorrow we will go home. For now, you are safe here. I promise.” She cried into his chest and eventually the sobs ran out. Her breathing getting deeper.  He felt the tension in her body release. She fell asleep in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally happy with how this chapter turned out but I hope you enjoy it. More smut next chapter. I promise!


	6. Chapter 6

A draft of cold air filled the warm room. Josephine was replacing the glass on the windows but the workers had started the work and were yet to finish. The openings brought cold air into the room. 

Adria shivered as a draft past by her shoulders. 

“Excuse me for a moment. I need to go get a cloak it’s freezing in here,” Adria started walking towards the door. 

“There is no need. You can use mine.” Cullen suggested. He walked over and draped his cloak over her shoulders, lovingly fastening it on to her. His eyes soft and loving. He smiled at the sight of her in his clothes.

“Oh, thank you Commander,” She looked up to the other advisors all of whom whose smiles were gushing after witnessing the caring moment between them.

“So what are the reports on Sahrnia? What state is the village in?” She started and everyone snapped back into their work. 

As they discussed the area and work ahead, Adria would occasionally make eye contact with Cullen. Each time she caught his eye, her heart filled up. Cullen looked at her sweetly and slightly possessively and he seemed to always be looking at her. 

"Cullen?" Leliana broke the silence.

"Uh yes?" 

"Do you have thoughts on this?"

"Uhh No," he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. Embarrassed to be caught not paying attention. 

"You don't have thoughts on if we should send troops ahead to provide aide to the region?" Leliana puzzled. Her eyes and mouth drawn up in a knowing smirk.

"Oh, yes," He stiffened and focussed his attention on the map, "I do have thoughts." Leliana rolled her eyes.

\--

The day wrapped up and the advisors exited the room. Adria reached up to remove Cullen’s cloak.

His hands wrapped around hers. Their warmth enveloping her cold fingers. 

“You could leave it on,” he smiled. 

“Oh? Do you like how it looks on me?” She smirked back. 

“Yes,” he said breathlessly.

“Why is that Commander?” She smiled mischievously.

“It looks like you are mine,” he admitted.

“Am I?” She looked back at him. 

He reached forward and kissed her.

“I would like you to be.”

She kissed him back. 

“Then I guess everyone should know.” She smiled, “Shall we go for a walk?” She linked her arm in his. 

They walked out of the main building and through the courtyard. All along their usual stretch of the battlements. Greeting the recruits and soldiers they passed along the way. Their eyes always looking shocked as they noticed their arms linked. They finally ended the rounds at Cullen’s office. 

He opened the door for her. His face beaming with pride. 

He kissed her the moment they walked inside. 

“You are exquisite,” he whispered into her ear. She giggled and kissed him back. 

“Should we go over some reports Commander?” She smirked and bent over his desk wiggling her bottom up at him while she pretended to look through his papers.

She turned around and looked over at him slightly biting her bottom lip. 

He kissed her with force, pushing her slightly on top of the table. She could feel him swelling against her thighs. She sat up on the table running her hands along his chest. He growled.

There was a knock at the door. Cullen kissed her ignoring it. The knock sounded again.

“Commander,” the voice behind the door shouted urgently.

Cullen shook his head. Adria smiled, “I’ll wait for you upstairs,” she whispered,untangled herself from his grasp and swung up the ladder.

“Yes?” Cullen angrily swung open the door.

Rylen stood at the door, “Sir, there is a matter that requires your attention.”

“Are we under attack?” He asked.

“No Sir,” Rylen’s eyes shifted to look up at the loft. Cullen stepped into the line of his vision.

“Did someone die?”

“No, Sir but…” Rylen started.

“No Captain,” Cullen commanded, “This can wait until tomorrow. Find me in the morning.”

"But..."

He shut the door on Rylen’s face.

Cullen quickly removed his armor and boots and swung up the ladder.

Adria sat on the edge of his bed in a simple linen dress. She had been dressing more plainly since the Winter Palace. Cullen didn’t mind. He thought the lack of adornment brought out all of her features.In some ways, the simplicity highlighted her beauty. 

“Do we need to go?” She asked Cullen.

“Nothing that can’t wait until the morning.” Cullen sat beside her on the bed and kissed her. She snuggled in closer to him. He kissed her gently on the cheeks, the forehead and the lips, running his hands gently through her hair. 

She giggled and leaned forward. Kissing him with force. She could feel the smile forming on his face. As he kissed her back aggressively, pushing her down on to the bed. The weight of his body on hers. Her hands trailing down his back. His hands ran along the sides of her body. His fingers finding the edges of her dress's hem. 

“May I?” He asked looking into her eyes. She nodded and he pulled the dress over her head. She gasped as the cold air hit her body revealing her breast band and panties. 

“Maker’s breath,” He whispered. 

“Adria,” he paused looking her in the eyes, “I want to touch you and taste you. Stop me if that’s not what you want or you don’t want me to continue.”

“Okay Cullen.” She nodded.

“Promise me?” 

“I promise.” 

He leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth. His hands found her side as he kissed her jaw, tracing his fingers along her collarbone, he kissed her on the collar and found the back of her breast band, slowly unwinding it from midsection. Her breasts fell out and he wore a boyish grin on his face as he grasped one in each hand. He grazed his thumb over her nipple. She gasped, her hips involuntarily bucking up towards him. He chuckled lightly and traced her nipple with his tongue. She squirmed beneath him. He sucked it gently. 

She gently pulled his hair. Warmth building inside her. 

He looked up and made eye contact with her. She blushed. He kissed her on the lips and she kissed him back, pushing his hands back on to her breasts. He continued to circle and graze her nipples with his fingers. She whimpered in his ear. He slowly let his hands trail down her stomach. Running his finger along the top of her underwear. He lightly ran his fingers on the inside of her thighs, passing over her lips. He could feel her wetness through her underwear. She whimpered and moaned at the slightest contact. He ran his finger under the side of her underwear, just lightly touching her lips. Her breathing changed. She was dripping wet already.   
He slipped off her underwear and traced his fingers along her lips, he gently opened them grazing her clit. She pushed up against him. Tracing one finger around her opening, slightly pushing inside it. She cried out and tried to push up into him.

He chuckled and slowly slid his finger inside her. She gasped. Her warmth surrounding his finger. She felt so tight and wet. He stroked her inside and watched as her back arched every so slightly.

He smirked and made eye contact with her as leaned his face forward, breathing warmly against her opening and clit.

She whimpered slightly.

She felt his tongue lightly trace around her clit softly touching it as he traced it up and down. Her taste and smell engulfing his senses. He wanted nothing more than to push himself into her. He slowly swirled his tongue around her clit looking up at her. She had one hair in his hair pushing his head down and one hand playing with her breasts. Her eyes looked at him. He nearly burst at how sultry she looked. He felt so much longing, the tightness of his breeches hurting as he strained against them. He pushed his tongue softly inside her and she moaned as he moved it around inside her. He returned to lightly sucking her clit and running his tongue around her as he slipped one finger inside. The sounds she made were almost enough to drive him over the edge. He felt the moment her body clenched, her insides contracting around his finger as she loudly moaned. He went faster, flicking his tongue on her mound and increasing the speed of his fingers subtle movements inside her. He heard her breathing change as she came again. 

He slowly pulled his finger out and laid down facing her on the bed. Smiling at the look of satisfaction in her face. 

She turned on to her side and kissed him. He traced his fingers along her waist.

“I’ve never had that happen before,” she whispered.

“No one’s ever licked you?” He asked shocked, “I’ve wanted to taste you since Haven.” He admitted and kissed her lips. He tasted and smelled like her juices. 

“People have tried before. I mean, I’ve faked sounds a bunch of time, but I’ve never actually had an orgasm,” She admitted. A blush forming on her face.

He brushed the hair out of her face. “How was it?”

“Lovely. I could stay in bed with you all day.” 

“I’d like that,” he smirked. Feeling pride well inside him at having been the first.

She tugged his tunic over his head running her hands along his chest, her fingers over the fine lines of his scar. She cuddled in close to him and then gently bit his collar. He laughed.

“Would you like me to…?” Her eyes trailed down to the bulge in his pants.

“Do you want to?” He asked.

“I’m not sure. Maybe?”

“If you aren’t sure then we won’t,” He confirmed.

“Can I see you naked?” She asked eagerly. He chuckled and slipped off his breeches and smalls.

Her eyes fell down to his swollen member. He was huge. She licked her lips tracing her fingers down his chest thinking about how he would feel inside her. She traced down his abs, the V of his hips and lightly along his shaft.

He moaned and kissed her forehead. She looked into his eyes mischievously and wrapped her hand around his penis and slowly brought it up and down. The warmth of her hand felt amazing. He craved any touches from her. Her hair accidentally grazed his tip. The sensation driving him mad. 

He felt her tongue lightly tease his tip. It traveled down his shaft and then up again. Her eyes making contact with his. 

“Adria, please,” he whispered.

Her lips wrapped around his tip and she slowly plunged him into her mouth. Her tongue circling his tip inside her mouth. He moaned and slightly bucked up. One of his hands pulling at her hair, the other lightly gripping the sheets. 

She moaned, the vibration itself almost making him cum. She slowly moved up and down. He looked down seeing his penis in her mouth, her naked body draped over his legs. Her hair tickling his thighs and crotch. The warmth was too much. He burst into her mouth, growling. His release mixing with her spit. She waited for him to stop pulsing before she removed her mouth. Making eye contact with him and swallowing.

“Maker,” he whispered, “You are a desire demon.” 

She giggled and drank some water from a glass beside his bedside before climbing back over and kissing him.

He pulled her on to his lap. His erection already coming back. He could feel his warmth on hers and longed to push into her. She kissed him. He examined her happy, flushed face, wide eyes drinking him in. He drank her body in in return. The sweet curve of her breasts, the darkness around her wet lips. His penis twitched involuntarily. 

She laughed and playful touched his tip as if scolding it. 

“You are the sexiest living creature that rotates the sun,” he whispered.

She blushed and looked up at him through the sides of her eyes.

He kissed her and pushed her on to her back. Climbing on top of her. He positioned his tip at her opening and looked up. He saw panic flash in her eyes and he stopped. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered and moved off of her. He scooped her up and held her to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” she quietly murmured, “I want to feel you. I just…”

“You don’t need to apologize. There is nothing to apologize for. I want you to be happy.”

She smiled and kissed him softly.

“Well, in that case, do you mind?” She looked down between her legs and moved his hand to between her thighs. He smiled and placed her back down on the bed. He head moving between her legs. She moaned loudly.

— 

She woke to the sun hitting her face. She felt Cullen’s body pressed against her back. His morning wood pushing against her back. She snuggled in closer to him.

“Careful little desire demon,” he whispered into her ear.

“Good Morning to you too.”

He chuckled as she turned to face him. His arm still around her waist. She kissed his lips. Placing her hands on his face, she traced them along his features. He closed his eyes at the sensation. 

“I…,” she whispered, “I care about you a lot.”

“I care about you a lot too.” He kissed her on the forehead. 

“I have to tell you something,” She said. Her voice barely audible.

“You can tell me anything.” He tried to sound reassuring. He ran his fingers through her hair. 

“I can’t give you everything you might want in this life.” Tears started forming in her eyes.

“Whatever do you mean?” He asked softly.

“I can’t,” her lips quivered, tears starting to run down her face, “I can’t conceive.” 

“I understand.” He held her close as she cried.

“They made me drink potions to prevent it. I’ve had so many I don’t even get my monthlies. I couldn’t produce a liability,” She whispered as she sobbed into his chest. He held her close, one hand on her head. 

“I understand if you don’t want to continue this.” Her eyes downcast. 

He gently pushed her chin up so their eyes met. 

“You are already more than anything I could have asked for.” He kissed her lips. “You are everything I want in this life.” 

He held her close as she drifted back to sleep.

— 

She woke up smelling elderflowers and oakmoss. Unsure of what time of the day it was. She reached over for Cullen but the bed was empty.

She looked around. His clothing gone for the day. Some breads and fruit with water on the nightstand. A small note pined beside them.

_A._

_Duty called for me. Please stay as long as you like. Come back later. I will miss your skin against mine every moment._

_Yours,_

_C._

She squealed like a school girl and fell back in to the bed.

— 

Adria dressed and went down the ladder. Opening the door to Cullen’s office, she collided with Captain Rylen and Cullen coming in.  Cullen caught her before she fell.

“Late start I see?” He teased.

“I had a busy night,” she smiled.

Rylen stood stiffly beside them.

“Inquisitor.” Rylen saluted. She saw concern in the furrows of his face. 

She left Cullen’s office and leaned against the tower wall outside. Remembering the warmth of his hand on her face. The feeling of his face between her thighs. She wanted to crawl right back in there. Her back stiffened as she heard Rylen start talking. 

“Cullen. You need to be more careful” She overheard Rylen say. The door to Cullen’s office was still open a fraction.

“I don’t know what you mean Rylen.”

“Everyone saw you with her yesterday. Now they will see she didn’t leave until this morning.”

“And?”

“You know what she was right? What they say about her? This could all be some kind of trap of hers. A sexy alluring trap - I get it. I think every soldier here would get it. But she’s trained to make you think she’s in love. You need to see her real motivations. She’s a whore and you’re her fool.”

Her heart dropped. The sweet moment crashed around her. Gone. She thought this was something different. She thought she had finally been different. Is this what they thought of her? What they all thought of her? Tears welled in her eyes as she ran from the battlements, back to her quarters.

Cullen looked up at Rylen.

“I never want to hear you say that again. She is your Inquisitor. Our commanding officer. You will not speak ill of her like that. Ensure that none of our men do as well.”

“But Cullen…”

“People can change. Do you not believe that? Do you not believe we have changed?” 

Rylen paused, “But sir, she was a pet.”

“And we were templars.” He snapped. “I will not hear you speak of this again. And I will not hear you speak ill of her again. Understood?”

“Understood”

—

She crashed into her quarters and flopped onto her bed. Tears streaming down her face. Her heart hurt. She had been so silly. Is this what it meant to have your heart broken? Like so many of those silly Orlesian women who threw themselves at men to be tossed aside the next day.

She cried and cried. 

And then a thought came to her. 

Adria was not a silly Orlesian woman. If they thought she was still a pet, she would be a pet. And they would all want her. 

This time would be different. She was the leader. She was the architect. And she would make sure they all wanted her so bad. And she would make sure she would be someone they could never get.

—

Varric’s surprise informant had turned out to be Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall. Adria had heard all about him from Orlesian gossip but the gossip did not so him justice. Hawke was a gorgeous man. He was built like a warrior even though he was a mage with strong arms and a strong chest, his eyes steely blue with dark hair trailing in front of it. Adria was most surprised at his brashness and constant need to make everything a sarcastic joke. She smiled after meeting him. This she could work with.

She had invited Hawke to join their party for drinks at the tavern this evening. She was confident Cullen would show up when he heard the news Hawke was in Skyhold. 

She picked her outfit carefully. A long black skirt with a slit that went up to her upper thigh and a tight red silk shirt. The shirt had a plunging v neck. It was so low, you could almost see her belly button. Adria opted for no bra band or panties. She dressed her lips in red and outlined her eyes. Brushing her hair to make it silky and touchable. She looked at herself in the mirror and was impressed. It was easily the best she’d done in a while. It was show time.

The tavern was already busy when she arrived. Cullen sat in his usual spot with his men and Captain Rylen discussing the day’s events. Going over new tactics.

He met her eyes when she walked in. She gave him a polite nod and smile. She saw his eyes trail down her outfit, they grew large as he noticed her cleavage and high slit. He looked up at her confused. She was already looking away.

Adria could feel all the gazes upon her. She walked slowly towards her usual corner booth.

“Sir Hawke,” she smiled, her voice sounding sultry, “I’m so glad you decided to join us.” She slid right beside him so their thighs touched. Hawke looked down at her seeing the sides of her breasts, from his angle he could see to the top of her skirt. He smirked.

“Varric, would you be a dear and get us some drinks?” Hawke asked.

—

Cullen watched as night progressed. The Inquisitor and Hawke’s table growing louder. She was acting in a way he had never seen before. When Hawke said something funny, she would laugh and lightly touch his arm. In fact, she seemed to find any excuse to touch his arm or leg or reach across him. He looked at Hawke and could see he was following along with the game. He whispered something in her ear and she punched him lightly in the shoulder and said something that looked like a playful scold. He laughed. Despite the commotion at their table, Hawke only had eyes for Adria, he was leaning forward towards her to block out the others. She was sitting on her knees in the booth facing him. In the middle of everyone, they were engaged in some kind of private flirting match.

Cullen felt jealousy grow within him. How dare Hawke look at her that way. How dare she encourage it. He felt angry and defeated. She had said she cared for him. Didn’t she? 

Cullen shook his head angrily and downed his drink. A headache forming. He stomped out of the tavern. 

Hawke watched Cullen leave and looked over at Adria.

“I think we can say your plan was a success.” He relaxed into his seat and the three of them resumed a conversation with Varric. 

—

His anger fuelled him the next day. He ran extra miles. He did extra drills and he sparred with recruits and soldiers with a fury they hadn’t yet seen. He fought as well as he did on lyrium that day.

The day was coming to a close and he was full of sweat. He grabbed his things and retired to the baths. He was thankful to find them empty. He was alone. He sunk into the heat of the water closing his eyes.

He heard a splash on the other side. He opened his eyes. It was her. His anger welled back up.

“Did you have a fun night with Hawke?” He spat out at her. 

“I did in fact have a fun night with Hawke. He is an excellent conversationalist.” She said flatly.

“I am sure you did a lot of talking.”

“Oh, and what do you think I did?” 

Cullen paused this felt like a trap but he wasn’t sure how to get out. He was mad. He needed to go there. He felt furious that she would seduce Hawke after all this time. All the patience he had given her. 

“I am sure you had your way with him.”

“And why would you think that? Is it because I’m a whore or wait what was it… some sexy, alluring trap?”

He paused. Understanding clicked in his mind. 

“You heard what Rylen said?”

“Is this what you think of me? That I am just going to sleep with anyone? You jumped right to that when you saw me with Hawke. You think I’m just some whore?”

“I don’t think that at all.” He shook his head. 

“Then why did you assume that when I was talking to Hawke?”

“You were leading him on.”

“No, I asked him to flirt with me. I wanted to see what you really thought of me.”

“How is it fair for you to do that to me?”

“How was it fair for you and Rylen to have a little chat about who I let inside me.”

“Because you missed the part where I defended you.” He shouted. His shout echoing throughout the bath.

Silence filled the baths as his echoes stilled. He saw her face change as she realized her mistake. The anger deflating. His began to rise. 

“Cullen, I’m sorry. When I heard Rylen, I thought you might have thought the same.” 

“What have I done since we left Haven that ever gave you that idea.”

He pushed himself out of the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist. 

“I believed you had changed Adria. I believed you when you said you changed. That you wanted to be different. And I believed you when you said you wanted to try whatever this was. Rylen was at least right about me - I am the fool.”

“Cullen,” She reached out to him, “I do want to try to be with you.”

“Then you should have tried to trust me.”

Cullen turned his shoulder and left the baths. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad Adria. Also sexy Cullen though, right? Woof.


	7. Chapter 7

She pushed his office door open. They were leaving for Crestwood tomorrow. He looked up at her. She looked like mess. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her clothes disheveled. They had avoided each other for days. Only speaking in short polite statement where necessary. 

“Can we talk?” She asked.

“No.” He said flatly. He saw her body flinch like he had hit her.

“Cullen, please,” she whispered when she saw him, “I need…”

“Stop,”He interrupted.

She paused and then started again, “Please accept my apology. I need you Cullen.” 

He hesitated but deep inside he knew what needed to be done. He steeled his heart for the next words, “This was a mistake, Adria.”

She crumpled. His immediately needed to hold her, his heart pulling him towards her. He needed to take her in his arms, to tell her it would be alright. He stopped himself. Remembering the rage he felt in the baths. He stiffened and stood rigidly. Mustering all the coolness with him. He looked at her with hard eyes. 

“You need to leave,” He walked towards the door and opened it for her, “Now.”

She dragged her feet out the door. Meeting his eyes one last time. The level of sadness in them almost wrecking him again. He closed the door behind her and collapsed into his chair.

_Maker_. He needed her too. 

— 

Cullen found the note in his office and recognized her script. He put off reading it for days, pouring his rage and disappointment into his work. He worked late into the night. When he slipped into sleep, the demons beckoned him with Adria’s face, her body flush up against Hawke or some other man. He woke feeling less rested than when he began.

The lyrium withdraws plagued him with headaches. Coupled with his feelings of anger, he had become downright miserable to be around. Everyone in the keep was giving him a wide berth. Cassandra had pointed out his attitude on several occasions. Rylen barely even came into his office any more.

He felt alone. 

He could feel the hum the emergency lyrium he kept in his top drawer. It whispered his name. He could just use it this one time. Make the pain go away for a bit. Come back stronger and ready to take on the situation. Plaster over the hole in his chest. 

Reading the note only reopened his wound. 

_Dearest Cullen,_

_I made a terrible mistake. Rylen is right about me. I am a horrible person._

_I should not have doubted you. You have been so kind to me. More than anything I should have asked for._

_You are a strong and amazing man. I wish I could be everything you need and want. But I fear I will always just be a pet. You should forget about me. You deserve so much better than me._

~~ _I love you._ ~~ _Take care of yourself._

_Adria_

The note tore at his chest. He traced the words I love you with his finger. She had crossed it out so many times it was almost impossible to read but it was still there. Tears forming in his eyes. They spilled out onto the note. He wanted to push her out of his mind. He needed to be resolved and put together. Instead he had was undone and disheveled by a few words written on paper. 

He climbed up his ladder and fell into his bed. Crying until he fell asleep. 

— 

Adria thought to the letter she hastily scrawled and put on Cullen's desk.  She had hurt him. She was a terrible person. It was the right thing to push him away. As much as she wanted to keep him, she would only hurt him more. 

Crestwood was terrible. It was constantly wet, the town was swept in sadness, deceit oozed at the edges. What had meant to be a quick trip had extended into weeks while they resolved the issues in the area. 

They found Hawke’s contact, a grey warden named Stroud, in a cave nearby. They agreed to rest in the secluded cave before moving on.

She fell into her bedroll and turned on to her side. She made eye contact with Hawke and he walked over, sitting crosslegged beside her head.

“You have been quiet this whole trip,” He looked down at her, “Not to mention your secret crying.”

“You noticed?”

“Yes, everyone has noticed.”

“I don’t want to burden anyone.”

“Try me. Burden me for a moment.” He insisted. 

She sat up to face him. He reached forward and took her hand in his.

“I made a terrible mistake.”

“Is this about Rutherford?”

She nodded.

“Yeah, he is the jealous type. Isn’t he?”

She weakly smiled.

“I was wrong,” she admitted, “He never said anything untold about me. He defended me when others did. I read the situation all wrong. I jumped to conclusions. And now…” 

“Now he is upset with you?”

She nodded again, “It is for the better. I don’t deserve him. I’m just a silly pet.”

“Maker, Adria,” He pushed her chin up to meet him in the eyes, “You’ve travelled through Thedas. You closed the breach. You’ve helped thousands of people and you’re still trying to save the world. Yet you sit here and talk about who you used to be. You are so much more than who you used to be.”

“You really believe so?” She asked, her eyes wide. 

“If I spent my time in Kirkwall believing I could only ever be a Fereldan refugee, I would never have become champion, I would have never helped save the mages, and I would have never met you.” He locked eyes with hers. She could see a small desire building in them mixed with respect for what she had done. 

“You also wouldn’t be in hiding.”

He chuckled, “Small price to pay.” 

Silence filled the air between them. Her hands still in his. He locked eyes with her, inching towards her face. 

“You’re incredible. You could have any man in Thedas,” he whispered, “Forget Cullen.”He closed his eyes and pushed his lips into hers.

Adria saw it happening in slow motion but felt powerless to stop it. His lips crashed into hers. He felt her stiffen, the kiss unreturned. He withdrew. 

“I’m sorry… I… you’re just…so much,” He stammered, “I thought that maybe…”

“You’re a lovely man, Hawke,” she consoled, “Just not the man for me.”

He nodded. “What if he won’t have you anymore?” 

“Then I will have to respect his choice.”

“You can find someone else..." Hawke trailed.

“There is no one else.”

—

Cullen entered the War Room and stood beside Cassandra. He tried to distance himself from Adria whenever possible. His pull towards her was unbearable. 

The dynamic had shifted since the Inquisitor had returned from Crestwood. Hawke and Stroud had gone ahead to the Western Approach. The group knew an assault on Adamant was inevitable. There was a lot to do. 

Adria had shifted from her usual confident engaging self into a wilted husk of a woman. She listened to all the advisors, sadness hanging over her. She talked quietly when she made decisions, all passion gone from her voice. She avoided looking Cullen in the eye. Occasionally she would leave the room and return later, her eyes puffy and red.  Josephine told the others that she had stopped eating. 

“Before we discuss the news from Hawke and Stroud, I need to report an incident that happened last night,” Leliana placed a piece of parchment on the table between them all.

“My team intercepted a small elven man trying to get into the Inquisitor’s quarters last night. He wasn’t known to us and was almost successful. They had caught the elf alive but he had some kind of capsule in his mouth. He was dead within minutes. This letter was in his possession. I think it is for you, Inquisitor.”

Adria’s eyes grew wide. The poison capsule, a small sneak trying to get into her room. She knew what the letter would say. She fell into a chair, her face in her hands.

“He is coming.” She hissed barely audible. 

Cullen instinctually reached out towards Adria, hesitated and grabbed the letter from the table instead. He studied its message. 

_Little Mouse,_

_So they call you the Inquisitor now? I always knew my little girl would find her way into something big. You were quite the sight at the Winter Palace - everyone has been talking about you._

_Playtime is over soon little mouse. I need you._

_Big Cat_

He looked over at Adria. She was completed undone. She kept trying to talk and then would stop and hide her face. She brought her knees up to chest. Her breath escaping in sharp gasps. 

He leaned forward and then withdrew. His feelings of possession and need to protect her intermingling with his rage and confusion over her distrust in him. He felt like a fool. How could he still feel so much for her?

Adria looked up at Leliana, “What do I do?”

“Do you want to see him?”

“I don’t have a choice” Tears streamed down her face. She looked so small, so defeated. An abused little mouse. Her sobs the only sound in the room. Cullen could feel the icy exterior that he had brought into the room melting. Her sadness chipping away at him. He couldn’t bear to see her like this any longer. He needed to help her. 

“You aren’t his to order around,” Cullen finally broke the silence. Her eyes came up to meet his. “No one owns you anymore. You don’t have to do anything. This destiny - your destiny, it is your choice.”

“Do you really believe that?” A glimmer of hope flashed in her eyes. He kneeled next to the chair so his face was level with her

“Yes,” He stated, “And I…” he corrected, “ we will do everything we can to protect you. To let you keep that choice.” 

“You will?” Her wet eyes met his. She saw softness and concern in them. She wanted to reach out and touch his face. 

Cassandra walked over placing her hand on Adria’s arm, “Yes, of course we will. We are in this together.” 

Josephine walked over and wrapped her arms around Adria, “We are all in this with you.” 

— 

The desert sand was cruel. They prepared for the assault on Adamant. Each individual heading to their position. Adria prepped for hers. She knew what she needed to do. There was a good chance she might not live to see tomorrow. Her heart pushed at her.

She easily found Cullen. He was surrounded by his Captains and lieutenants reiterating the plans for the day. He paused as she approached.

“You are dismissed,” he said to his soldiers, “Fight well and fight hard. Take care of each other and we will all see tomorrow.” They nodded. Many touched his shoulder as they walked out.

“Inquisitor,” he nodded at her. She slowly approached the table.

"It's a good plan, " she noted.

He answered back with emotion, "There are still risks. Many men will die."

“If I die,” she started.

“You won’t die.” His eyes made contact with her as if asking for reassurance. She put her hand on his arm. 

“Cullen, I love you,” she whispered to him. 

There was silence between them. She felt the muscles in his arm soften. He took her face in his hands and softly kissed her lips.

“I know,” he whispered back and walked away from the table, away from Adria and towards the fight ahead. 


End file.
